MERRy XMaS...

Freaking hell, I am sick AGAIN!!! seriously... more hacking coughs, cold, one episode of horrendous vomitting and having to scoop my vomit out from the sink, sore throat, you name it... back on multiple medications... and now on top of everything else, I have this mouth ulcer that's annoying... been having pretty much fish porridge every day, for all meals, no chocolate, no spicy food, my pantry of unhealthy foods are calling out to me every day... another sick day off work... and it's freaking Christmas, when I could have been eating all the yummy foods... 

not much happening on the online dating front, and it's getting tedious and boring now, probably have to resign myself to being left on the shelf like what pongie said... 

buying a property front... went to talk to a few agents and builders, but I think we are going to hold off for now actually, and riverstone is really not a suburb I can foresee us living in, no matter how tempted I am by having a new and designer looking house we could be living in... 

not much happening for Christmas this year, except being sick, met michelle's new boyfriend for the first time yesterday, he is an oncology doctor, not bad looking and nice... lucky her... hung out at their place for dinner (with them eating laksa and me porridge of course), and then playing this new car game michelle bought called Hanabi... was laughing until I had tears running down my face... cos of my stupidity... slothed at home today, working on boxing day, maybe going to auntie's to hang out again, and then slothing again on tuesday, then it's back to work on wed and thurs... meeting up with uni gang in the city on friday... and then papa's arriving for 2 weeks, joy...

both of us got hooked onto this new korean drama called weightlifting fairy, we are of course so very sucked in again, it's really cute and sweet, and touching actually, with 2 main leads who were not very well-known initially... but I think they are going to do well from here on with this drama... except that the main male lead is freaking young, disgusting... so now we are stuck waiting IMpatiently for wed and thurs to come around each week, 2 more weeks, damn it, how many times have I told myself not to get sucked into starting a drama before it ends??!!

鱼儿在哪里。。。

so... after my first 2 days being sick, finally started in TACP, slightly annoying things like having to ring IT pretty much every day to chase up logins for documentation, and laptop login... otherwise, most of the patients are pretty alright at this stage... it has been pretty hot the last few days, the thermometer went up to like 41 degrees for the last 2 days, hence not fun doing visits in the heat...went to the rehab xmas dinner today, don't like the food, but it was good seeing the rehab team... 

registered for online dating again, on both okc and pof... for some reason, it's been a little boring this time around, not many interesting people to talk to, only really talking to one guy atm on okc... dunno if it will go anywhere, but watch this space... 

other than that, nothing very much happening atm... still watching the china singing show... running man has finally announced that they are ending the show, cos Jong Kook and Jihyo are also leaving, and apparently another mc is joining the show, which we both don't like hence we are going to boycott the show if this new mc really comes on board... it is sad though, after 7 years... 

and for some really strange reason, I am still having this hacking coughs randomly... even after taking the meds... urgghh, dunno what's wrong... 

SiCK...

Last week of my holidays and started coughing, multiple mosquito bites throughout the 4 weeks, thought it was a simple cough, and it will go away shortly, but nooo, it got worse when I returned to Sydney, had to resort to wearing a mask during the flight home, and within the first 30mins of the flight, there was pretty bad turbulence already, and turbulence again when we were landing... the coughing worsened, to the point where I could not sleep, and woke up with violent coughing fits, and during one episode of coughing fit, I actually felt like something got dislodged in my throat, and everytime I swallow, it felt like something was stuck in my throat... could not sleep and got more concerned about the coughing fits and swallowing, that I woke pongie up and drove ourselves to ED at Hornsby Hospital... waited for like 2 hours in total and was seen for like 10mins, doctor said nothing she could feel or see, prescribed me with cough medicine and antibiotics... and gave me 2 days off work, great... I am going to make such a GREAT impression on my first day in community, with a no show... 

overnight trip to JB, enjoyed the pampering stuff, but not the shopping, the food was not too bad, except for the dinner on the first night, where we ate late, and they were closing, and we were pretty much given mostly duck bones... 

currently still reading my online books, and looking into purchasing off the plan properties... hopefully it would be a good decision, cos I have no freaking idea what to look out for and what sort of questions to ask...

SLOThiNG...

HellO Singapore and Home... Week 3 of my 4 week holidays of being a sloth...

The flight home was ok, some slight turbulence here and there, thank God, the food was as usual gross, and what's worse was, clumsy me, spilled apple juice on my pants and shoes at the start of the flight, yay! Not... Never going to order apple juice again! did not eat much, even the ice cream was not great... watched finding dory and that was it... pretty much slept through the journey, as much as I could... usual crying babies and smell of indian curry on my right and left...

since I arrived home, managed to eat most of the food I have been craving for, except the stingray we had at gluttons bay yesterday sucked... bought alot of clothes, clothing here are VERY expensive... bought more food, and now I am thinking my luggage will not be able to accommodate all the crap I have bought... met up with most people and I have decided that I will not contact siti or veena in future when I visit, cos they do not seem to put in the effort to make time to meet up since the last time I came back in Feb 2016... so why should I continue bothering... I did manage to meet up with Mellishia though, which was great becos I have not seen her for years now... can't even remember the last time I met up with her... this time around, most of the discussion topics centre around babies, childcare etc... and realreal is now pregnant with baby number 2... Fran is getting married soon... alamak!

pretty much hot and raining and humid since I am here, equals GROSS... just sitting or standing and I am sweating profusely... and not forgetting the multiple mosquito bites that I have been getting and still getting... got hooked to watching this channel 8 show on nurses... pretty good show... and pongie recommended this new china singing competition show with JJ Lin, Hebe, Zhang Hui Mei, Yu Quan and Xiao Jing Teng as judges, not bad, but the concept is still not as difficult as the Zhong Guo Hao Ge Qu... still showing... 

today, went to toa payoh with papa to collect my glasses and to eat prata (unfortunately, the prata store is closed for renovations), anyway, got roped into being interviewed for this channel 8 documentary show talking about airbnb and whether singapore should also legalise a similar concept here... both papa and I did it separately, and I looked shocking on video (cos he videoed it), and of course, I was sweating profusely on camera, like I always do even at home, great, there goes my public image!

anyway, uni side, thank god I did so much better in the second assignment, and managed to get a distinction for this semester, yay!

countdown to going back to sydney, to work, and to studying :(

Au RevOiR NEPeaN...

Goodbye Nepean Hospital... it has been mostly good for the last 6 years, except for a few irritants... Did not get to say goodbye to a few people, and was alittle disappointed with the farewells, but hey, no point getting upset over this, looking forward to being a sloth at home back in singapore, except for the flights and the weather... hopefully I will do well in this module this semester, and that TACP will be a good rotation for me... won't be going to the OT dept or the Aged Care Xmas party, but decided to go to the rehab one, even though it's on a random wednesday night and thai food :( but I am hoping that the people there will make up for it... 

Crossing my fingers and toes that 2017 will be a year where I will get my dream rehab senior job closer to home and maybe even buy a townhouse! and maybe find someone nice and good to me...

失望。。。

All I can say is I am always setting myself up for disappointments, even though I kept telling myself that it is not possible, I keep expecting something more, and ending up in feeling disappointed... really need to find another distraction...

prisy got me hooked on this new korean drama called love in the moonlight, similar plot like the moon and the sun show, but the timing always sucks, did not do well in the first assignment this semester, and kept telling myself that I should be concentrating on doing better in the upcoming assignment, but always becoming distracted, and no motivation whatsoever... just hoping that I can do better in this next assignment so hopefully will pull my grades up for this semester... looking forward to my holiday... kept telling everyone at work that I am really looking forward to going into the community, so hopefully I will enjoy the rotation, and I am really hoping that I will be lucky enough to get a senior rehab position sometime next year close to home before I rotate into MRT again...

SUmmEr's HERe...

recap on the recent roadtrip to bowral/moss vale, I actually was allocated a male masseuse, it was weird initially, but after that, I was like whatever, nothing amazing to see anyway... after that, went to check out our accomodation, it was refurbished quite nicely indoors, parisian- style... and the bed was very comfortable, the bathroom was quite big as well... would not mind staying there again... although the cooked breakfast was only so-so... 

otherwise, nothing much happening... trying to play as much badminton as I can before I go back to singapore, to lose some weight, which really I don't think it's working, cos I think I ate as much if not more than what I lost during exercise... work wise, nothing very much happening... bought 2 boxes of wipes for kara's baby shower, and an animal puzzle game for shelby, apparently, shelby loves destroying the puzzle when it's all sorted... she is really cute... also bought a mobile hanging animal thing for rehab mel's baby... started emptying out my desk and clearing things in preparation for rotation... 

uni wise, thought that this semester would be a little easier cos it's more relevant to what I am doing at work, but it is turning out to be more challenging than I thought... hopefully, I will pass the module, yikes!

oh, and side note, I was just browsing through my facebook feed one day like I always do, and guess who popped out on people who I may know... yup my ex of 3 months... and for some really weird reason, his profile name is something bizarre called coco jambo??!! I panicked a little when I saw his picture, initially thought it may be a scammer using his pictures but then I clicked into the profile, and it was all pictures of him, and also some of the ones which he sent to me before, which now I know some were pretty old... anyway, I don't know how facebook decides that he is somehow linked to me, but I deleted him on my newsfeed page anyway... 

Counting down to me being a sloth when I go back home in 3 weeks' time!

DayLiGht SaVinGs StarTiNg AgAin...

have not been blogging recently, nothing very exciting happening... major entertainment news though, Brad and Angelina divorced!!! what a shame, and they have 6 kids! my life currently consists of working, assignment, badminton... yup, BORING!

work wise, the new grad still needing quite abit of feedback, and Hannah did not get the MRT position, which personally, I was glad, becos I think she is a good clinician, but sometimes, she comes across as a know it all at times, and it's a Level 2 position, so hopefully we can get someone new and good... 

abit of gossip... prisy and co have been hanging out ALOT with Alex and Kelvin... we all know that Christine really likes Kelvin, but we don't know if it's mutual on his part, but then prisy thinks that Alex may also like Christine, but I initially thought Alex likes Prisy... but then, Alex also hangs out ALOT with Marga... so who knows what's going on with Marga and Jack... anyway, just gossiping... 

once assignment 1 is done, will have to start on assignment 2, and then the weekly postings, and then it's holidays!!! my plan is to be a sloth at home, eat and sleep, and then eat again...  hence I am trying to work hard at badminton nowadays before I go home... and I bought the pirate roulette game after being inspired by running man the other day...

yay! really looking forward to our roadtrip to bowral/moss vale tomorrow, I need a massage! the only annoying thing is that I still have to work on my assignment on the roadtrip :(

HAppY 31st...

my birthday celebrations recap... went for badminton, yum cha (not nice), then laser tag at rosehill, it was tiring, sweaty but fun... 4 levels to run around in, and the group which came along were fun to play with, and then we went for korean at eastwood, much better food, and then dessert at oliver brown... 

friday, bought the rainbow cake for work, and deanna also organised a morning tea the same day for the LGBTQI fund raising thing, which then led me to think that she may be one of them too... and we had aged care breakfast in the morning, then this morning tea, then my usual chicken schnitzel, then my cake and then dinner at lao chufang, unfortunately the food was not great that day, for some reason, so I was pretty much constantly eating the whole day... and christine and prisy bought me chocolatey stuff for my birthday... and rhia bought me 2 packets of caramello... I am so fat it's not funny... 

saturday, it was the cherry blossom festival at auburn, went with auntie and uncle in the end, cos prisy injured her foot at badminton... it was quite disappointing actually... met up with fangying there as well... luckily the weather was really good that day... and then we went to strathfield for lunch, at this new malaysian cafe... I ordered the prata, but it was too crispy for my liking... and then went over to prisy's to catch up on running man... 

today, working :( luckily the day went pretty quick... ADO tomorrow, really have to start working on my assignment, the deadline is getting closer and closer by the day... urgghh... 

workwise, a new staff member started in aged care, a brand new grad, so everything was really new for her, so had to spend some time to explain everything from scratch... other than that, nothing much else happening... 

nainai had a fall the other day, injured her leg, and then a fever, and then her leg swelled, and sudden onset of confusion... had all of us worried sick... and now mum's also sick with a cold and fever...

3 MOnTHs...

yup, we finally broke up for real today, after watching Jason Bourne in gold class in the city, again the whole conversation, not really even a conversation, it was pretty much me telling him, lasted for less than 5mins... and here I was stressing for the last week, about what and how I should say it... but in the end, did not end up saying what I mentally prepared... Alex did not even say much... 

oh and recently, for some weird reason, hanging out more and more with Fangying, we have now been to karaoke together twice, and went out to eat twice now... and she got me hooked onto this japanese craze, and the queues were sooo long for the last few times we were there, but tocheesecake day for some really strange reason, there was pretty much no queue, and I was able to buy 4x cakes for us both, and only having to queue for maybe 5mins :)

our last few weekends have been sooo busy and hectic, pongie and I have been complaining that we have not had a weekend where we can just relax and be sloths for the day... it's pretty much cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and then some sort of activity happening on sat... and then it's badminton on sundays, lunch and then auntie's...  where got time to study??!!

and I have also registered for some speed dating websites, and will also be returning to online dating websites when I actually have some time to myself... I can just imagine myself going back on OKC and seeing Alex back on there too, AWKWARD!!!

生病了。。。

work wise, many changes happening, staff wise, with maternity leave, secondments, and new staff starting... off sick today, probably a combination of being crazy busy at work last week, and on the weekend, still hoping that the rotations will continue, cos I have given up on a few positions to wait for the community rotation... uni has started, which means another few months of eyes and brain bleed from the crazy volume of journals I have to read to complete the assignments... 

met up with yochi and her family on sat for buffet lunch at blacktown rsl... both yochi and anthony are looking for new jobs too... pongie and I bought new badminton racquets after the lunch too... so far probably still getting used to using it... and on sunday, after badminton, we went for lunch at this really nice scenic cafe at the olympic park, pretty crowded with families, my fish and chips was ok, the fish was too fishy for me... but everyone else at the table was playing pokemon go except me... so rude... anyway, it was pretty weird, becos Alex came along for lunch, and after that, he also came along to prisy's house to hang out ie watch running man, play wii, and watch movie... with 5 other girls... we were all saying how weird it was... maybe he likes prisy... too bad he is younger than us... who knows... if he is really into prisy, he is a pretty good catch, other than the fact that he is younger and is an only child... watch this space... and prisy said she actually went on a date with a guy probably whom she met on the dating websites, but it didn't work out... 

pongie and I are going to watch star trek in gold class tomorrow night... yay! first time experiencing gold class... hopefully it would be good... and hopefully my cold will resolve soon, so I can enjoy fully... cos can't really breathe properly atm... 

my birthday is coming soon, decided to go play laser tag with prisy and co!!!

StiLL COLd...

work wise, it has been crazy busy with complex patients on the ward this week, of course when Alissa's not here, and I am left only with my student to help, luckily she is pretty cluey, just the spelling mistakes do get to me sometimes... busy with home visit with a hoarder, having to wipe a patient's ass, 2x shower Ax, etc... sooo glad this week is over, hopefully Hannah and I will get along well, otherwise it's going to be a hellish few months... and Rhia told me today that Deb is going for the locum senior community position, sooo, which means that if she does get the position, there will be no one in Aged Care or MRT... and she will be supervising me... awkward... 

anyway, found out that Piyo and Amelia are now pregnant with their second babies!!! who knows, there may be more coming which I don't know about yet!

booked my tickets back home in november... looking forward to just being a sloth really, and eating nonstop... just pretty much not being at work really... papa and mum may be coming out to visit end August...

Alex and I are going ok I guess... don't really know where we are heading at this stage... wish I could talk to somebody and get some advice :( pretty much just meeting up once a week, mostly for dinner... but I just feel like we have run out of things to talk about, whereas back then when we first met, we were talking for hours on end... is that usual for others as well... who knows... and obviously pongie still not happy about us both still going out... we have different hobbies, like different things, and I just feel like he does not have much to talk about in terms of his life... and now that both of us have started uni semester again, our lives will pretty much be work and study really... anyway... watch this space... and I used to get excited and looked forward to seeing him before, but now... not really...

怎么办？？

work wise, changes with staffing levels, Aaron rotated out of aged care, Christian is now the new PT along with Sanobar, Alissa is rotating soon, and Hannah will be rotating in, sometimes I feel Hannah does not like me for some reason, dunno why... so we had so many morning and afternoon teas the last few days, and I ate so much... and Lois had her retirement farewell lunch the other day as well, so basically I have been eating crap nonstop, which meant that I have to work extra hard at badminton, and I am going to make an effort to go to the badminton on saturday... currently supervising a student on placement, she is a canadian born asian, and her accent is so nice... and she is pretty clued in, so I am pretty lucky, but rhia's student is a different story... and kara and kate heagney are pregnant again!!!! and also found out that Gavin's leaving for Westmead for a senior position...

pongie started her new job at North Connex... still working out of the main office, but dreading the day she has to go out on site... 

still driving Hyungie for work, and Scarlett is left sitting nice and clean in the garage... 

Alex and I are going ok, still at stage 1... went for a day trip to the hunter valley today, weather was really good, very crowded, I bought 2 bottles of wine from Scarborough and Audrey Wilkinson, but he bought none, had breakfast at this cafe called Pollina's, the decor was nice, but food was only ok... and then went to takeru for lunch... I was so full after... and I was alittle embarrassed about singing in front of him in the car, but eventually I was like, whatever, so I just sang my usual chinese songs... sometimes I feel that we are more like friends than in a relationship, urgghhh... still have not told anyone else yet except the few mentioned before... 

prisy and christine somehow became really friendly with 2 guys from badminton, Oscar and Alex, don't like Oscar cos he is so loud, but Alex (yeah, I know, the freaking irony here) is pretty nice... but yet to really get to know yet, cos we always seem to be going out in a big group, and who knows whether he is even looking or has someone already... but went for room escape at parramatta called labyrinth with prisy and co plus Oscar, not as high techie and fun as the ones in singapore, but pretty good though...

SCarLett... 红儿。。。

sooo, today I inadvertently made Alissa cry, apparently becos I was being dismissive about doing something with the medical students today, and I did not even realise it until Karen told me about it during supervision... anyway, now I have to go apologise and be mindful about how I go about saying things... work-wise, it has been so boring becos for some really strange reason, our ward has so many empty beds and there is no patients to see, so I am like struggling to find things to do other than working on some QI stuff, readings and doing stats... 

Alex and I are going ok I guess, met up in the city for dinner last weekend, then hung out around darling harbour, it was freezing cold that day though... and we met for dinner near work as well on monday... we are still at stage 1 and I don't know if I will ever be ready to progress onto stage 2... sometimes I feel undecided as to whether I made the right decision to contact him again after we first broke up... and he again told me he thinks he loves me... I dunno... I am so freaking indecisive I annoy even myself... urgghh... 

Good News!!! Pongie got offered a permanent full time job at North Connex jobsite, as a junior accountant... woohooo... hopefully this job will turn out well... and which means I get to buy a new car, which I did, and it's my long-desired mazda 3, in the red... and pongie has named it Scarlett :) it will be ready on monday... woohoo...

WiSE DeciSiON??

sooo, after officially breaking up over the phone on 15th June, we started messaging each other periodically after that, very platonic... and then on the weekend, I decided to register myself on this other online dating website called Plenty of Fish, yeah, the name really does not sound pleasant at all, anyway... for some reason, most guys on the website are of course either weird or label themselves as 'adventurous' and 'outdoor loving'... which is the total opposite of me... and so I did that for 2 days, and the whole time, I find myself thinking of Alex, I am such a hypocrite and pongie is right, I am so indecisive... anyway, and then on sunday it was pouring with rain but we had already planned to meet up with Euodia and her friends for karaoke in the city... we had fun in general, the only downside was the pouring rain, after karaoke, pongie and I decided to check out this new Japanese restaurant at TGV, was disappointed with the food actually, and it was alittle expensive as well... anyway, I decided to call Alex after work on Monday and we had a good chat after 2 weeks... I was sooo nervous about calling, that I actually sat in Hyungie for like 10mins trying to decide if I was actually doing the right thing... and what would happen if he tells me he has already moved on... anyway, turns out he has not, well, that's what he says anyway... and he kept saying things like he has not thought of moving on, that he still looks forward to receiving my messages and he hinted that he would wait... and I think I decided then and there that I am not going to listen to what Buddha is saying and forge forward with having a relationship with Alex this time around... and see where it goes, cos I don't want to have regrets and I kept thinking that we have so much unfinished business... well, for better or worse, I made the decision and if things go bad again, then I have no one to blame but myself... and I deleted my POF profile after 2 days... anyway, I then decided today that I will ask him out... cos I figured why waste time right, if I have already decided to continue... I know people around me will not be happy with my decision but I am going to stick to it... anyway, we decided to meet up in the city on sat, so hopefully this time, it will turn out better than our last disastrous planned hunter valley non event... he even threw away the selfie stick after I cancelled on him cos he thought he no longer had use for it... 

anyway, uni wise, got back my 1st assignment, and surprisingly, I did very well, I was not expecting it at all... I really had no idea what I was doing at that stage, but I am so very glad that all the hard work, sweat and tears worked out well in the end, now crossing my fingers and toes that the second more important assignment also did well...

15th June 2016...

After stressing about it for the last 3 days, our breakup phone call only lasted less than 5 minutes... he hates me... it is all my fault, so no one to blame but myself... and I learnt something from him, don't say sorry, it's like a pat on the head...

27th April- 12th June 2016...

1.5 months and 3 dates later... I broke up with Alex. Real good timing as well, the night before we were meant to go on our first roadtrip together to the hunter valley. Had a good cry last night, and with my period combined, yup, did not really sleep well at all... To be honest, I feel like I have hurt him more by suddenly telling him this becos I knew how excited he was to go on this roadtrip... and to be really honest, the following reasons were why I decided that he was not the one for me even though I really like the feeling of him liking me more...

1. I am indeed racist despite how much I said I was not;

2. I am superficial;

3. Nobody who knew of us in the family approved and mum even showed me the signs she got from praying to say that this was not a good match, and from then on, I started doubting myself and having second thoughts about us;

4. He was getting a little too "clingy" for my liking;

I am such a liar and a scammer, just like what his impression of me was in the beginning... I kept telling him to be honest with me, and in the end, it was me who was not being honest... Fran et al all said this was a good thing and that I don't drag on if I feel he was not right for me. Fran even said not to change my mind cos it won't end well, based on her previous experience.

God, now that the damn semester is over, and I am really worried about passing this module, cos there is NO FREAKING WAY I would want to redo this module again EVER... don't really know what to do with myself... reading my books used to fill me with anticipation but now the mood is just not there anymore... and it's now back to my usual boring routine of work and home and back to work again...

喜欢或者习惯。。。友情或者爱情。。。

sooo, we spent our 1 month anniversary having dinner at grilled at penrith westfield, the food was not great though, and he gave me roses and a card, which was pretty sweet, and we just hugged platonically, he kissed me on the cheek and held hands... so far so good, we decided that we are going to forge ahead and work on this relationship together... so far, I have told, pongie, prisy, huimin, fran and jo, and mum, and mum's reaction was the most surprising, she actually did not even ask much details and just said to go for it... yeah, weird... so really, only mum is on my side at this stage... 

the other stressful thing which happened over the weekend was my assignment, realised at the last minute that I was on the wrong track all along and had to pretty much redo most of the work, stayed up late to work on it on friday, and then all of saturday, and seriously there was a point in time I felt like throwing up... even had to work on it during our hunter valley roadtrip...

really had a good time at hunter valley, the weather was great, had my massage which I really needed... did not visit as many wineries this time becos I had to work on the assignment... had lunch at harrigan's pub which was really crowded... and the accomodation at the pub was pretty ok as well, nothing fancy but quite spacious... 

so now I just have to get through the next 2 weeks with my last assignment for this module and cross my fingers and toes that I will pass the module... that's all I want, just to pass this module so I won't have to do it again... 

oh and I made another new asian friend/colleague called Euodia today, as in we had lunch together, she is from Malaysia but obviously has been here for awhile, but we clicked pretty well, similar interests... wish she could stay at Nepean... which made me think of my ex-friend Elisha, who appears to have disappeared from the earth... 

SOme GUiDanCE wiLL bE HeLpful...

sooo, we finally met up with each other yesterday, first impression, ok, physically, not quite what I expected, he is pretty dark-skinned, and short, like similar height with me... so we met up at hornsby westfield, then he drove hyungie to top ryde, where we had schnitz for lunch, and we talked some more, it was pretty awkward actually, cos I saw him from afar first, and I just gave him a quick small hug, and there were a few times during our little date that I know he was trying to hold my hand, but it was pretty awkward, and he kept rubbing my finger, so I kind of subtly pulled away, and he kissed me on the cheek twice... after lunch, we decided to drive to eastwood and we had oliver brown's waffles for dessert... he was really nice, but I could tell he was nervous as well... cos he sounded way more confident over the phone... 

the problem is I know I have feelings for him, but I dunno whether these feelings mean I truly like him or whether I just feel comfortable talking to him as a friend... and he already told me more than once he is starting to fall in love with me... and everyone around me who knows, kept telling me to slow down, and to make sure of his intentions and his future plans are first... but sometimes, I also feel like we do know each other quite well, and I do trust him at this stage... I can't predict what's going to happen in future, but at this stage, I think I am going to go with my gut instincts and feelings and see where this leads us to...

and on the other hand, pongie was again upset with me yesterday and we had another blowup, in addition to the one on saturday, when papa was apparently upset with both of us for different reasons, hence my initial plan of telling them was postponed... and yesterday it got to the point that I felt so bad towards him that I told him it's not too late to give us up, cos really, I have too much drama in my life right now... since this whole thing started... it's pretty much one drama after another every week... and one of the things which really made me feel like he really likes me and is serious about us is the way he handled the whole situation and is willing to compromise and wait for me... I was pretty shocked when he told me that he was really upset and he had tears in his eyes when he read my message asking him to walk away from this yesterday... hence why, I am trusting these feelings and my gut instinct telling me that he is a trustworthy person and that he genuinely cares for me... despite what other people are telling me... anyway, we decided that 27 April is the day we officially "talked" and knew of one another, so this friday 27 May will be our 1 month anniversary, and we are planning to go have dinner after work... anyway, watch this space...

BE poSiTiVE!

since I last blogged on Friday evening, the conversation that night was truly mortifying on my part, cos it was VERY personal like sensitive questions 101, even to the point of talking about having sex, my menstrual bleeding, my surgery, my scars, and possibility of not having children, everytime I thought of what we talked about that night, I cringe in horror and embarrassment, cos come on, I have yet to even meet him in person, and he knows more intimate things about me that any person should... and we even talked about locations and when to do this... 

anyway, things were pretty intense still... until sat night when pongie overheard us talking about going on an overnight trip and everything blew up... she was crying the whole night, yelling, saying that she hates him, I am not her sister, she wants to go back to singapore etc... it was truly one of the worst nights ever... and of course, needless to say, sunday was pretty tense, which made me tell prisy about him... and of course, she also said the same thing to me, ie to be careful, cos at the end of the day, I have yet to meet him, and I have more to lose than him etc... which I agree, but I really like him and I want to believe and trust what he says... but of course, there will always be a part of me which will remain cautious... anyway, sunday night, pongie and I manage to have a chat about things, and hopefully things will improve as time goes... 

and he is so much better than me at compliments, at saying things such as liking me, thinking of me, missing me, and he even said to me yesterday that he thinks he is slowly falling in love with me... he actually said the big taboo L word, and we have not even met each other... and on my part, I think I am too, becos how can I resist not?? examples, checking my phone almost compulsively, looking forward to chatting with him at night, and texting him, we pretty much text or call each other regularly throughout the day and still chat at night... is that overkill??

I keep waiting for me to wake from this dream, or waiting for the stone to drop, and this situation is not as good as it seems to be... I will be devastated...

HaS FatE rEALLy ArriVED?

sooo... thought I would do a timeline of my online dating journey...

26 April- registered as a member, started talking more in depth with 2 asian guys pretty much daily, some just hi and byes... browsing daily for interesting matches...

10 May- suddenly was talking as per usual with one of them and then at like 2230, he was like, so how about we try chatting on the phone, so I was like sure, when?? expecting like on the weekend or something, not immediately, but that was what happened... I was sooo nervous, my palms were sweating, cold, my heart was pounding like crazy, I was pretty much freaking out alittle bit actually... so we talked for abit, first impression to be honest was ok, his English is not perfect... voice is ok... accent is quite strong but not too bad... and after we hung up, I truly could not sleep the entire night, combination of adrenaline, nerves, replaying the whole conversation over and over... it was crazy... and then we started talking nightly, getting to know each other better, and I thought he was a really nice and genuine person... and he seems to really care about my wellbeing, and texts me throughout the day as well... and asking for more pics... he actually believed that my profile picture was photoshopped, I was alittle upset about that... 

13 May... fast forward till today... still talking nightly, texting each other throughout the day, and he seemed to really like me, but me being me, with my low self esteem and confidence, kept worrying constantly about what will happen once we actually see each other face to face, and he finds out all the stuff about me... what will his reaction be and what happens if this did not work out in the end... oh and did I mention that we both decided to delete our okcupid accounts yesterday... and I also offered to continue as friends with the other asian guy I was talking to, I hope the gamble of giving him my number does not turn around and bite me in the ass... anyway... so have not been sleeping well for the last few nights since we started chatting on the phone... and of course, no mood whatsoever to do my assignment still... yikes... time is really ticking... just wish that I did not start this stupid idea of doing the masters degree in the first place... cos really, to be honest, my priority atm is to work on my social life... but it's a little too late now... so just have to persevere and hopefully get it done and pass the module this semester... 

so, who knows about the above so far... only pongie, huimin, fran and jo... dunno if I should be telling other people at this stage... watch this space I guess :)

缘份。。。

sooo... I finally decided to just register for online dating and see what it is all about and what happens... so far, I learnt the following:

1. there are ALOT of Indians on online dating, and sorry to say, I am pretty racist and anti-Indians;

2. online dating is NOT easy at all;

3. especially if you have to pay to see who actually likes you which of course, no one pays;

4. most of the people on my "Like" list are Asians, hmm... 

5. I suck at small talk :(

anyway, something to think about anyway, and I think it boosted my self-confidence alittle, cos a few people actually thought I was good-looking, but of course, that is based on a picture taken like last year, and I wonder if they will still say the same if they actually seen me in the flesh... 

uni wise... sian... no mood whatsoever to do it... and time is quickly running out every day... it's exactly 4 weeks to the day I have to hand in the first assignment... and the second one looks even worse :(

work wise... did the bariatric presentation with Kiera and I thought it went really well... I was alittle nervous but luckily, it went well in the end...

sydney vs singapore issue... well broke the news to uncle and co the other day, and basically, none of them thought it was a good idea... so now we are pretty much back at square one... pongie has to decide what she wants to do... but it is looking more like I will be stuck at Nepean for a LONG time...

SiAN...

well, today was probably one of the shittier days at work... took a patient out on a HV, and she fell at the front step, even before we went into the house... and she started to panic, could not get her up and in the end, had to ring for an ambulance, which was a first for me... thank goodness, the daughter was pretty sensible and was pretty calm throughout... urgghhh... the paperwork to be done after, and the 'chat' I have to have with Karen and probably Jamila tomorrow as well... yikes, lesson learnt, always check the height of steps and make sure the PT have cleared them on steps at that height... 

other than that, uni stuff is sooo painful, still don't understand what I am reading most of the time... dunno how I am going to get through this module...

still reading my online books, went to watch the Jungle Book at the movies that day... it was not too bad, the computer graphics were very realistic... still playing badminton almost every Sundays, except the Sundays I have to work... nothing very exciting coming up... have this hospital wide bariatric presentation next week, already thinking of where to go next for our next roadtrip before pongie goes back... if not becos of the STEP funding thing, I was already thinking of resigning in June... but at this stage, it's looking more like August... oh and Jo gave birth to a baby boy the other day... 

weather wise... seriously, it's already almost May and it's still feeling like summer... winter had better be longer this year...

COMe ON... WHen iS WiNTEr CoMinG??

well, that was fun... NOT... was invited to Yin's 30th birthday dinner tonight at Windsor RSL, and it was mostly PTs, of course, only Deb, Bonita, Rennie and I (and Penny, but really, who's counting), were non- PTs... needless to say, it pretty much went as I expected, felt really alone, and there was one point I was actually sitting at the table all by myself... yup, and the food was expensive and not nice at all... it was good to see Kevin though, pretty much the same... was the first one to leave right after the cake was cut... yup, not going to another of those again :(

other than that, nothing very much happening, except ongoing headache on uni stuff... staying vs relocating... 

 

WhY StiLL SO HOt...

nothing very much happening recently, except the 4 day long Easter weekend... Friday... stayed at home the whole day, did mask, had cup noodles, cheese and crackers and wine... was pretty much reading my online books... Saturday... met up with Yochi and Oki and her 2 sons, for korean buffet at campsie, the food was not that great... after that, went to shop for groceries, the shops were quite crowded as expected, bought more Easter eggs... Sunday... working for the extra money... Monday... went to auntie's to hang out, played Wii games and watched our usual Running Man episodes... 

uni wise, not doing very well already, realised that I was totally on the wrong track for the first weekly post... don't have a good feeling for scoring well on this module this semester... doing all these readings but don't really know what they are talking about majority of the time... this is getting better and better... NOT

work wise, nothing very much happening... still stressing over what's happening with pongie, which means I can't really plan anything for now beyond June... planning to start going through all our stuff and chucking those we don't need cos I only just realised how freaking expensive storage space is going to be... nothing really exciting to look forward, except to get this whole uni semester over and done with... and hopefully pass the module... 

weather wise, it's already end march and still pretty hot, urgghhh, this summer has really been neverending :( daylight savings end this weekend, hopefully this means autumn is finally here!

超烦的。。。

back to reality... back to work... work was pretty much the same, was meant to get a 4th year student but did not happen in the end... a few presentations coming up as well as this HV project which I am hoping to do... so many people at work are pregnant, it's not even funny now... Anna, the new MRT PT, Kathy, Swati, Rhia, Nicole, Krusha, maybe Kara, Ivy and Nat... crazy... baby boom...

and uni this semester is so freaking hard... on neuroanatomy and neuroscience... who the hell can remember uni stuff from like years ago?? and the worse thing I found is, it is somehow related to work stuff, but it's more biology stuff... OMG... 

auntie found out that she had a retinal tear in one of her eyes, and had to undergo surgery that day... now she still can't see out of that eye, can't read, cook or do much of anything... for the next few weeks...

anyway, one of the big things which we are currently deciding on is whether pongie will have to return to singapore to work, which meant that I might have to move back too... still very undecided at this stage... even cried in karen's office that day actually... wish that pongie can finally find a job here, so we don't have to relocate back... cos what's going to happen to all the stuff here... and the unit, and the car... 

decided to take some ADOs this week, saw a good deal come up on one of the websites for hunter valley, and so we went on a roadtrip to hunter valley yesterday for an overnight stay at cypress lakes... the accomodation was pretty good, except the area was bushy and had internal steps... visited some wineries, and bought 3 bottles of wine... went for massage at this revamped tea tree spa called ubika spa... had the same treatment but the room was different... I quite enjoyed the treatment, except they now had only one shower... which meant we had to wait for one another, and it was time limited of course... and did I mention that mum had me hooked me on this china singing show called 中国好歌曲。。。 especially season 2, even had tears in my eye at some parts... and I am still rewatching it now... and I downloaded some of the songs from the show too... 

so atm, the 2 things stressing me out is pongie's work issue and uni... bleh!

回到现实。。。

19 Feb 2016- met up with Fran for a movie called 13 hours, it was actually pretty good, not as intense as Black Hawk Down... and then went for teppanyaki at wisma atria foodcourt with Fran and Pongie... after that, we had free movie tickets from Huimin, so Pongie and I went to Lido to watch Deadpool... kind of awkward with Huimin and her new boyfriend sitting beside us... after that, it was pouring with rain on the way home... 

20 Feb 2016- temple hopping day with nainai, mum, pongie and I... nothing much after that, and mum got me hooked on this chinese singing show called Sing my song... the show format is pretty good actually, the contestants have to be able to sing and write their own songs... I am still watching the show on repeat now... yup, that's how sad I am.... 

21 Feb 2016- went with Mum to chinatown early in the morning, decided to queue for bak kwa at Lim Chee Guan, it was only like 0900 in the morning already there is a mini queue happening... after that, went to PS to buy some disposable panties, after that, nothing very much happening...

22 + 23 Feb 2016- one of the highlights of the trip home this time... MBS! uncle thomas came in the pm to pick us up, nainai, pongie and I checked in first, the place was so crowded, full of China tourists, some Korean ones... but mostly China... blah! our family room was situated at tower 2 on the 3rd level... facing Gardens by the Bay... not a bad view actually, too bad about the low height... after that, michelle and co came to join us, took some pics, the room was really nice of course... and then decided to have dinner at Din Tai Feng at the Shoppes... Michelle was still doing her photoshoot after we all finished dinner, so we left early cos we wanted to catch the light show... after that, uncle jeffrey and co decided to come hang at the room for abit... and then after that, michelle, pongie, prisy and I changed and headed for the infinity pool... the problem was each person needed to have a swipe card to enter the premises... it was so crowded despite it being like 2200 at night... took ALOT of pics, people was taking selfies everywhere... left, right, and centre... after that, pongie was not feeling well, so did not join us at the bar for some cocktails, it was pretty crowded in the bar despite it being a monday night... the night scenery was pretty amazing... of course, took lots of pics again... by the time I slept, it was like 0200, and then I decided to wake up early to catch the sunrise at like 0630... after that, we went for another swim again in the pool... and then went for breakfast at the foodcourt in the Shoppes... Pongie contracted gastro, probably from the tuna croissant she ate the other day, so did not join us for breakfast, severely disappointed in the zha yu mee fen... did not even finish the food... after that, went up to the skydeck, it was free for guests, more pics taken... after that, uncle jeffrey came and picked us up... went home, slept for abit, cos there were so many us sharing the bed, did not really sleep well... maybe we should go back again next time, with just us, and then we can actually fully enjoy ourselves... prisy and I decided to go check out suntec and pasar bella... the food was actually not bad, especially the chips and korean fried chicken... the burger not so much, the cocktail was not too bad as well, minus the mint... bought a pair of going out shoes each... and then slowly made our way back to bugis for swensen's ice-cream... and then met up with Michelle and her friend... and then it's room escape time again, this time with Sharon, her friend, Michelle and her friend, and Ernest and his fiance... pretty weird, seeing as how we never really hang out in the past... the game was called Tomb Raider and it was hard! both physically and mentally... although some of the clues were pretty ambiguous... and even after we failed, the staff did not even debrief... don't think I am going back there again! after that, Ernest dropped us back home...

24 Feb 2016- met up with Jo at wisma atria foodcourt for lunch, and then we went taka to check out the basement goodies, thought we could buy some snacks for ktv later, but I was so full after lunch, and the jap fish pancake and ice-cream, there was no way I could fit any more food in... then went to teo heng ktv at hotel rendezvous... huimin joined us in the last hour as well as her boyfriend, and then met up with fran and her boyfriend for dinner, decided to eat at mos burger near peace centre... another room escape game, mel also joined us... and we failed again! this was really challenging, mentally, some crawling involved, but even with 7 brains, we could not make it out in time, the good thing about this place is that even though you ran out of time, they still allowed you to stay on and figure it out... and then it was goodbye to everyone... we walked with mel back to her car and had to go through the really dodgy ktv place, the whole peace centre is pretty creepy, especially at night... 

25 Feb 2016- went to Wisma Atria to eat the teppanyaki again, ok the grilled fish is super yummy... after that, went to far east plaza to cut my hair, did not turn out like I wanted to in the end anyway, and went for the first real pedicure experience in my entire 30 years of life... pretty good feeling... I also quite liked the colour I picked... but pretty expensive though... the gastro virus must have spread to nainai cos she started vomiting and had diarrhoea one morning, and in the end, had to go see a doctor and take medications... poor nainai

26 Feb 2016- went to this travel expo thing at MBS... got so many brochures, bags, so tempted to go travelling... definitely not to Taiwan after hearing about what happened there to Michelle and co... Gross! it will probably be Japan and Korea... after that, we went to do our health screening review, and then decided to go check out the little prince cafe at Toa Payoh, it is quite obscure, hidden amongst the HDB flats... we were the only ones there, nothing very exciting actually... went for dinner at swensen's again at City Square Mall with mum... Uncle and co's flight was delayed for quite abit, but uncle jeffrey came and picked them up anyway... 

27 Feb 2016- went for breakfast again at Whampoa market, this time I queued for chai tau kway... had soya bean drink of course... and also detoured to buy dou sha bing... yummy! after that, did cleaning, and packing and then hung out at home the whole day until had to go to the airport at approx 0030 to pick papa up, cos his flight also was delayed... 

28 Feb 2016- last day :( went for breakfast yum cha at this serangoon country club, the food was not really nice actually... it was pretty weird, cos this was the first time we actually went out for a meal with auntie tina and her husband, turned out uncle phillip was hilarious... like everything he says is food-related... he started telling me all these food lobang places, and I got so tempted that pongie, uncle phillip and 8th uncle and I went for second round of eating at this neighbourhood hawker centre at Toa Payoh, actually, when we got there, I realised that it was the place we used to go for you zheng yu... so we ate bao and chai tau kway again... I was sooo stuffed... he even gave me his mobile number to call him in advance the next time I go back so he can locate all the good food lobangs... he is funny, 8th uncle was of course his usual self... after that, hung at home until it was time to head to the airport... it's always sad to leave nainai and mum, had a abit of a crying bout the night before actually... the flight was on time, but as usual, I felt pretty sick the whole time, did not eat at all, did not even watch any movies, what a waste! turbulence at some points... 

29 Feb 2016- landed back in sydney, and it was also hot... the good thing was that we cleared quarantine pretty smoothly, was abit worried there, cos we did bring quite a few "banned" stuff... anyway, got home, unpacked, slept for abit, and it's back to work the next day :(

1 MoRe WeEk TO gO...

14 Feb 2016- Valentine's Day... went for a little walk around the neighbourhood but ended up getting lost instead, then had to make our way back to Boon Keng marketplace, went to check out the hawker centre there, 'dabao' chai tau kway home for lunch, and then pretty much slacked the whole day, and then had fishball noodles for dinner, home-cooked, it was not very nice actually... and then prisy suggested that we watch this korean movie called Beauty Inside, and it was actually quite a good and touching movie, I actually cried during the movie... yup, sad...

15 Feb 2016- went out early in the morning, for our health screening at Novena medical practice, gross, had to manually collect a stool sample, to put it nicely... after that, walked around Novena and Square 2 shopping centre, did not find anything exciting, ended up eating Burger King... after that, made our way to the National Museum... HOt!!! and then met up with Huimin and co for dinner at PS, had this wanton noodles... and then went for room escape game at Peace Centre called Lost.sg... and the game was called ALcatrez... we were watching this video as an intro to the game and it turned out that we were watching the wrong video after it finished... Highlarious! the game was sooo good, but really difficult, we actually failed to escape even after 90mins... definitely recommend! 

16 Feb 2016- went to Toa PAyoh with Nainai and Papa to eat lunch at one of the hawker stores, ate this grilled fish, the fish was not bad, but the fries were too hard and they poured this sauce which was not very nice... then went to NTUC to buy some stuff for home... went to meet up with Silvana and Elain for dinner at Maxwell food centre... ate chai tau kway again, and drank soya bean milk... after that, went to eat at this dessert place and the food turned out to be really good actually... 

17 Feb 2016- went for lunch at the chicken rice place again at Seah St, this time with Michelle's friend ANdrea... this is our 3rd time eating there already... bought a blouse from one of my favourite clothing stores called Mu, but I think they changed the management already, but still selling quirky clothing... and then after that, we went to PS, walked for abit, bought more stuff, and then headed home... went to ZhenZhen's house in the evening and I actually arrived earlier than her, and her daughter's pretty cute, babysat her for awhile, then ate home cooked food, and met her husband for the first time ever, and he is very chatty... very passionate about his job and politics... I pretty much just sat there and listened and nodded along... forgot to take a pic with her daughter :(

18 Feb 2016- went for lunch at this korean place called Yoogane, not very nice at all actually... and then after that, made our way to ktv at Teo Heng at Hotel Rendezvous... HOT!!! after that, slowly walked to orchard central, went to check out this cake place called Lady M, quite nice actually... the place was pretty packed... and then walked around orchard central, 313 and the new shopping centre orchard gateway... and then slowly walked to tangs plaza to meet up with mum... bought this new pandan cake mould, and then went to eat at swensen's at ION... stupid signage was so misleading that we got lost... 

19 Feb 2016- was meant to go Redhill for breakfast this am, but woke up to a rainy day :( 

To be continued...

HappY ChiNeSE nEw YEAr...

6 Feb 2016- of course it had to rain on the day we had to catch the train to the airport... went to give auntie and co a lift to the station, luckily the rain eased a little, which meant that hyungie was able to be cleaned before we left, had quite a difficult time dragging our luggages from home to the train station even though it was only like a 5mins walk usually... got to the airport really early, had lunch, the flight was alright, crying babies, some mild turbulence, and we had to circle around for awhile before we could land... queued for approx 30mins for my fishball noodles, that was how good the food was... and welcome humidity! gross! unloaded the luggages and went to bed...

7 Feb 2016- walked to boon keng market to see if they were still selling the prawn rolls... no luck, most places were already preparing to close by noon... and it was raining... had our reunion dinner at home with ah ma... 

8 Feb 2016- chinese new year... busy busy since morning, preparing and cleaning up... drama in the function room... and of course, it was pretty hot that day too... despite the multiple fans and air con... it was pretty packed that day, with extended family coming along as well... found out that pearlyn and ernest are getting married this year too... and then went to visit ah ma's house... 

9 Feb 2016- went for lunch at swensen's at nex... had the 49ers burger and this dirt pot milo dinosaur dessert ice cream... yummy! most of the shops remained close so nothing very much happening... 

10 Feb 2016- went to collect my IC at Immigration, then met up with pongie to go eat chicken rice at this authentic store opposite Raffles Hotel... yummy! then we went to watch the Monkey King 2, sooo much better than the first one, I even had tears in my eyes towards the end... definitely would like to download and watch again... after that, papa and co joined us for dinner and we went to check out old school delights at upper thomson road... it was not bad actually, I shared mee siam and laksa with mum, and the milo dinosaur was pretty good... 

11 Feb 2016- went to vivocity for lunch, had chai tau kway at the foodcourt and tu tu... and then went to the trick eye museum with auntie and co... it was once-off for me... after that, took nainai back home, and then went out for dinner (korean bbq) at buona vista with Mel... the food was good, but too expensive... she is getting married in July but again, cannot attend...

12 Feb 2016- went back for more chicken rice at swee kee... then walked around bugis village, and then walked to guan yin temple, fu lu shou to buy suan mei, then bought a pair of joggers at OG, then we caught a train to Holland Village for the 2am dessert bar... not my type of food and very expensive... after that, came home, changed and took a Uber vehicle to bugis village again for our room escape... it was at Xcape, the first game was called Chamber of Secrets... did not really grasp the concept of the clues... crawling involved in this one... pretty similar to the ones we played before... and then Michelle suggested we play another game, so we quickly had Long John Silver's for dinner, and played the Whispers of the Dead... the clues were pretty tricky in this one... but no crawling involved... and we managed to solve both rooms... after that, went for drinks at the Long Bar at Raffles Hotel... the decor was unique, and you can throw the shells of the nuts on the ground... ordered this cocktail drink but not very nice... ended up drinking water actually... we actually left earlier than the rest cos we were both exhausted and hot... 

13 Feb 2016- family lunch at this fancy chinese restuarant called Ban Heng at Orchard Central... think we went overboard with the ordering of the food cos it was buffet style, but the service was pretty crap, and the food was only ok, though they did have my fried fish dish... after that, went home for abit and then caught a train to punggol to visit piyo's house with Inthu... got onto the wrong LRT... her house is actually quite nice interiorly... did not really get to play with her son, cos he was asleep by the time he got home... had pizza for dinner but not very nice, and then dunno what I was thinking, she suggested that we have a bit of lepat, and I did not even think that she may not have rice, so I ended up eating pure lepat, it was vomit and headache inducing for me... it was BAD! and it was pretty hot at her house as well, despite the fan... had to go buy some chocolate at NTUC to wash the taste away, pretty traumatised by lepat now... otherwise, piyo still the same, met her husband as well... seems nice...

24 HOurs MoRe...

Finally! start of my 3 week holidays, after looking forward to this for what felt like ages... anyway, last day of work was pretty anti-climatic, so quiet and boring, as opposed to a mad rush to finish everything and do handovers like previously... alas, did not end up getting any of the jobs I applied for, not even an interview... man, either I am really sucky or people out there are just way better than me... 

anyway, starting to dread the flight now already, cross my fingers and toes that the flight will be a smooth sailing one... did not even lose any weight before going back home :(

wound wise, glad to report that it is now slowly healing, which was so much better than oozing blood and pus like before... but will have to continue applying this silicone gel thing every day... definitely still going to swim when we are at marina bay sands though regardless... just realised that my swimming goggles broke... 

nothing much else to report... looking forward to going home, the food, meeting up with the girls...