1.5 months and 3 dates later... I broke up with Alex. Real good timing as well, the night before we were meant to go on our first roadtrip together to the hunter valley. Had a good cry last night, and with my period combined, yup, did not really sleep well at all... To be honest, I feel like I have hurt him more by suddenly telling him this becos I knew how excited he was to go on this roadtrip... and to be really honest, the following reasons were why I decided that he was not the one for me even though I really like the feeling of him liking me more...
1. I am indeed racist despite how much I said I was not;
2. I am superficial;
3. Nobody who knew of us in the family approved and mum even showed me the signs she got from praying to say that this was not a good match, and from then on, I started doubting myself and having second thoughts about us;
4. He was getting a little too "clingy" for my liking;
I am such a liar and a scammer, just like what his impression of me was in the beginning... I kept telling him to be honest with me, and in the end, it was me who was not being honest... Fran et al all said this was a good thing and that I don't drag on if I feel he was not right for me. Fran even said not to change my mind cos it won't end well, based on her previous experience.
God, now that the damn semester is over, and I am really worried about passing this module, cos there is NO FREAKING WAY I would want to redo this module again EVER... don't really know what to do with myself... reading my books used to fill me with anticipation but now the mood is just not there anymore... and it's now back to my usual boring routine of work and home and back to work again...
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