终于搬了。。。

so it's been awhile since the last post, the relatives came and went, man it was stressful for the 2 weeks they were here, having to entertain them, pack and move up and down between waitara and schofields, and then we finally moved... official date of moving in 5/5/19.

Both pongie and I now have a longer journey to and from work, pretty much caught public transport for the most of last week... most of the stuff have been mostly unpacked, just a few bits and pieces here and there... we are still trying to figure out the cooking side of things... and we have been dodgy in terms of throwing out of our rubbish at the train station... 

work wise, think everyone is curious to see who is going to get the maternity locum for burns, personally I want someone other than Laura to get it... watch this space... other than that, I am still putting off starting the private NDIS work... just don't think I am in the right headspace to do it atm...

so Bumble... started off exciting, as with everything... have chatted with a few people... and have met up with one person so far, but it didn't work out... and got cancelled on the last minute yesterday by an asshole, who made me feel like I have wasted the last few weeks of my life chatting to him... 

and... I still can't believe this, woke up one morning, actually went to watch the last avengers movie at like 2200 on a sunday night, and pongie and I took a sickie the next day... anyway, woke up on that Monday morning, and saw a POF message from Pete... told me he is back in Sydney for 2 years and wants to get back together again, I was very tempted to be honest, but Renai was right, it's not sustainable in the long term, what happens after 2 years when he has to leave again... anyway, I rejected Pete... and that was it... 

things to be worked on in the coming months:

- renting out waitara

- finishing uni

- buying a lounge, tv unit, and bed

- finding someone

CALm beFORe thE InVAsiON...

Our trip home came and gone... seriously the time flies when you are having fun and basically when you are not at work... met up with most people except Mel and ZhenZhen... went out one night till very late like 0300 with Huimin and Jo, tried electronic darts for the first time, and got approached by guys buying us games, and asking if we want to leave with them, yuck... come on, Jo has like 2 kids, and Huimin is attached man... and 2 out of 3 of them are smokers... it was an eye opener to see how much alive Clarke Quay is at night... got hooked to this Channel 5 show called Kin, painful thing is it's only 20mins each episode, and only mon to Friday, and it's neverending, it's already like ep 130 and still ongoing... 

After returning home from our trip, it was trying to get my uni assignment done, as well as organise stuff for both Schofields and Waitara... seriously I am surrounded by idiots and incompetence... pongie and I ended up yelling over the phone to the table company today becos of their stuff up... 

Huimin recommended I try out this online dating app called Coffee meets Bagel, but I did some research and it didn't seem that good, so went to register for Bumble instead... so far, the app seems pretty good, better than POF in terms of quality, however, this is only the start, so who knows it may die down just like POF too... 

one more day before my 4 weeks of holidays end... sian... and the invasion of the relatives for 2 weeks, and then the big MOVE... not looking forward to travelling from Schofields to concord and back...

TiME tO StARt PLayiNG ThE LoTTerY...

Uni semester one finally started, hopefully this semester will be an easy semester... work remains the same, nothing exciting... just have to get through one more week of work without Bee Lan and then it's holiday time... Mum had another fall and broke her leg this time, initially was recommended surgery but she refused, so now in a CAMBOOT and walking with a PUF... 

Went out with Renai, Theresa and Christina from work last night, and it is the first time ever I stayed out until 0200... met up for cocktails at the first bar called Kittyhawk, my cocktail was gross, and then moved onto another bar called O Bar with a very nice view, and again my cocktail was gross... and then we decided that we should then have dinner, and this is like 2300 at night, don't think I have ever eaten dinner so late... ate at this Chinese restaurant called Mr Wong... the food was ok... and when we finally walked back to the carpark, we found out that the carpark was closed, and it was a drama having to pay and wait for someone to come open the gate for us, and the driver forgot to put the brake on, the van rolled back and it was almost a disaster unfolding in front of us... by this time, the trains already stopped, Theresa gave us a lift back to Strathfield station, Renai asked her boyfriend to give me a lift to Rhodes and pongie had to come pick me up... and by the time we got home, it was like 0300... 

POF remains boring, no exciting prospects... and I foolishly kept blocking and unblocking him, and of course, decided to unblock him in a moment of weakness yesterday, and again, another nasty text... and now it's back to block again... 

more money spending again, between Waitara and Schofields... I am broke... 

we have recently been attacked by 2 occasions of cockroaches and one huge wasp nest just outside pongie's room window... disgusting...

RUnniNG ArOunD...

Been pretty busy recently trying to organise stuff for schofields, defects repair finally done, schofields refunded us the electricity cost after I made an official complaint... now trying to organise the landscaping, articificial turf, pest control, carpet clean, another flyscreen to be installed in my room, decided to wait on the outdoor security cameras, so many things to be done, and of course, the costs involved... and finally the move, hopefully we can coincide with the opening of the sydney metro rail...

other than that, not much happening, renai and I are going to meet up with fangying's friend to talk about doing some private NDIS work, so watch this space...

was also running around trying to get stuff done to be compliant with clinical placement happening in Aug... finally that's completed, went to see the Immunologist for the allergy thing, more blood tests... uni semester one is about to start soon, urgghhh...

POF remains boring, nothing much happening... got hooked to watching MAFS again, this season is even more ridiculous, but we are still watching haha...

BiTTEr...

Finally after so many breakups and got back togethers, David and I are finally over, and we have gone past the point of no return, still in disbelief over how bitter he was, verbally abusing me, saying things like go fuck yourself, hope you die alone, stupid girl, and fuck you... Wow... ended up having to block his number... how did things end up like this between us...

on the same day as well, woke up on sat morning and my upper lip was swollen as... quickly woke pongie up, and drove to hornsby hospital ED... the doctors thought it may be some sort of allergy... might be caused by the high blood pressure medications which I have been taking for years... so ended up staying at the hospital for like 5 hours... and now have to go see an Immunologist... it was so random, and part of me thought could it be due to David'd place, hygiene reasons, and I saw this as a sign to say enough is enough, I have delayed the inevitable long enough, but I never imagined his reaction and bitterness... 

other than that, I have been doing research on our Taiwan, Seoul, Japan trip in 2020... got a phone interview for a locum position at Canterbury HBT, cross my fingers and toes I will get it, and Susan will agree to a secondment...

It'S XmAs...

Since my last post, David and I are back together again, which I initiated, however, I am still semi-active on POF, and again, did I mention I really hate being indecisive, and of course, both pongie and Renai are disgusted with my decision...

Went to pongie's work xmas party, pretty fancy cos it was at ICC, however the food was crap, and our stay at Hyatt was crap as well... we got ripped man... the only saving grace was the buffet breakfast... 

Michelle is back for a visit and her big news is that she is pregnant... and I think to myself, some people are just lucky in life, everything is going well for them, and can't help but compare... oh well... and we also announced to auntie and co regarding Schofields...

Schofields is giving us one headache after another, first it was the defects, then the water leak, then discovered some dodgy people were illegally using our external powerpoint... one thing after the another... 

Work has been crazy busy... this whole week in particular... late lunch, late finish on most days... there was even one day where it was so hot in the clinic and I was getting so frustrated with making this splint for this patient, I actually felt like leaving... Bee Lan and I are getting smashed by our caseload whilst it seemed like everyone else is winding down for christmas... 

Things to look forward to... roadtrip to bowral, another overnight stay at this funky looking hotel called QT in the city, singapore trip, the holiday part of my adelaide trip... 

回到原点。。。

David and I eventually ended up having a pretty ugly breakup, anyway, time to move on... and try to forget all the memories... well, POF guess I am coming back again... been sleeping alot these few days, just don't really have the mood to do much after what happened... it's hard when everyone around you is all cheery and excited about christmas, but I'm just feeling like crap... and still having to pretend... 

Finally got my assignment back, and pretty much wasted the whole year on this project becos I only got a pass... Also didn't get the module which I wanted for first semester next year... ended up choosing a dementia module, and finally the placement module in the second half of the year... 

Hands remains a challenge for me, making splints, using a sewing machine, dealing with wounds... even had a nightmare the other night about wounds... 

Basically this whole year sucked in general... 

10th November...

After 4 months, David and I are over... his unwillingness to step out of his comfort zone and compromise finally made me realise this was not going to work in the long term... 

finally completed my final assignment for the year, hope I will get good results, and one more year to go...

rotations start tomorrow, outpatients hands, dread doing splints... and moving to the main department... 

SuMmer iS CoMiNG... I CaN FeEL iT...

procrastinating doing my uni stuff... and the deadline is approaching faster and faster, disgusting...

we have sorted out the utilities, flyscreens, and internet for schofields, now waiting for the defect period to come so we can get things fixed and start on the renovations... now waiting for the security system to be organised... stayed overnight for the first time last night, slept on the floor, mum and pongie said it was freezing cold, whereas I was cold but not shivering cold though...

david and I are going alright at this stage... still not wanting to socialise much... watch this space... and the final hurdle came and went without much hype really... actually developed a UTI, man I have never experienced such pain when peeing ever... 

mum is here for 2 weeks, then papa is here for who knows how long... 

nothing very much is happening atm...

33 years...

Did not get the job at RNSH, applied for the stroke outreach position at RPAH, watch this space...

Settlement finally is done, thank goodness, so stressful, to the point where I was sending very strong worded email and shouting at the conveyancer... flyscreens have been sorted, still deciding what renovations we want done... now we have to sort out the water, internet and alarm system... 

My birthday came and went... it was also his birthday 3 days prior, didn't do very much for his birthday... we went to watch mission impossible, then went dae jang geum and went for a walk for my birthday... hunter valley overnight stay, unfortunately it was raining when we arrived, but the accommodation at chateau elan was soooo amazing, got a free room upgrade with a fireplace... man it was soooo good, I really didn't want to leave... 

now I really have to work on doing uni stuff, it's fast approaching deadline... yikes...

还冷。。。

Sooo, we all know that I am very indecisive, becos after 2 days of back and forthing, and he told me the reason for not wanting to continue, we are again back together... the plan is to slowly work out the issues and make some changes hopefully, so we'll see... 

got a call from RNSH for an interview today, so cross my fingers and toes... also applied for another position at RPAH in the stroke outreach service... so watch this space...

doing the pre-inspection at schofields today, excited to see what it looks like inside... but that means the paying will start very soon... with all the renovations and fixing we will have to do for both waitara and schofields... 

mum is planning to visit in september...

I feel like I have been slacking off uni stuff pretty much the whole of this year, yikes... and it's fast approaching the time when I actually have to do some work... 

TiME foR a BREak...

France won the World Cup this year, my recruitment phase has been extended to September, and after 4 weeks, we have officially called it quits...

Empty words and promises like "I will never let you down", "I will always be there for you", and "I'm nothing without you", please I wish you never said these things...

I will also never forget the day it was your dog and not you who walked me out the door, and embarrassed me in front of your parents...

Can we be friends?? Never.

It hurts, being so close to you and having all these memories, but I have done it before, and will do it again... 

Guess it's time to take a break from online dating, and focus on finishing up uni this year... 

MayBE?

started chatting to this guy on POF in the last week of June, met up 3 times since, what a coincidence that he lives just near work, our birthdays are only 3 days apart, he is of Italian background, but does not speak much Italian... I have only known him for 2 weeks, and again deja vu, the L word has been spoken by him already... everything about him so far sounds pretty good, except he does not have a car and he does not like being in crowds of people he doesn't know apparently... and now that the world cup is here, he and I have also bonded becos of football as well... so watch this space I guess...

the world cup this year has been one shock after another, alot of big countries have been eliminated from the game, even Germany... I am now rooting for Belgium to win... it has been mostly entertaining and nail biting so far...

other than that... our townhouse is completed, went to have a look outside today, looks pretty good, now waiting for settlement to occur, and then the debts will start...

did not get the jobs both at POW and at Westmead... oh well... wonder if this is a sign that I should remain at Concord becos of him... 

uni wise... still only have one dyad so far, and the annoying thing is my lecturer is always taking so long to respond... who knows what's going to happen with my project now...

SCam...

Had pongie's birthday weekend part 2... started with staying at Meriton Suites at Chinatown for one night and went to check out Vivid, the room was pretty good, except for the view... drove out to Bowral the next day, it was drizzling and cloudy, went to this famous bakery to get some baked stuff, then checked in at Gibraltar, had the massage and pretty much stayed indoors, had buffet breakfast the next day, before making our way to Macquarie Centre for lunch at Bondi pizza with the badminton gang, and then room escape, the room escape was alright, the puzzles were not too difficult but we still failed cos we overthought... 

long weekend just came and went, pretty much chilled and did housework and nothing really much...

paid for eharmony and zoosk, realised I have been scammed by eharmony, but not much I could do, except wait it out for 6 months... started chatting to this random guy again on POF, he talked the talk, told me he is on his last military deployment in Nigeria, no family, wants to find someone to settle down with, I actually thought this was too good to be true, and it really was... after day 2 of chatting, he suddenly asked if I could buy an ITUNES gift card for him which was like $100, and that's when red flags came up and I deleted him, scammer!

Was successful for both job interviews at POW and Westmead, so cross my fingers and toes, I get the Westmead job...

Other than that, back to square one for my online dating... 

痛。。。

How many weeks has it been now?? I have lost count, maybe 17 or 18 weeks since... 

met another random guy from POF, he seemed nice and genuine but I just didn't feel it during our meeting, so I told him no, but after debriefing with Renai, I am now feeling like maybe I should have given it more time, and now I am feeling like I could have missed out on something... but there's no way I could have backpedaled now...

My "friend" informed me last week he just wants to be friends only, and since then, he has cancelled twice on me already, and me being the fool and silly one here, kept hoping for something, but now I am on the verge of just telling him I no longer want this friendship to continue becos it's starting to hurt now, and that's not a good thing for me... 

Other than the above, Renai has suggested I try out speed dating again and consider paying for a subscription, so I am going to give it a go... uni still the same, still no suitable participants, work still the same, going to try applying for a TACP job at POW and a senior position at Westmead, oh well, you never know... 

Went for high tea at Sheraton on the park for part 1 of pongie's 30th birthday today, and next week is part 2... staying one night in the city so we can see Vivid, then a roadtrip to BOwral and then room escape... 

15 WEeks aNd CouNtiNg...

since my last post, I had an impromptu meeting with a random guy on POF which turned out to be a dud, deleted Pete from my phone so I would stop crazy stalking him on whatsapp, and hung out twice already with my friend with benefits friend, our first meeting was at barangaroo and darling harbour, it was pretty platonic, and today, drove all the way to engadine to visit him, met his parents and his dog, they were all very normal, seemed like a nice family, a shame that both of us want different things... 

other than that nothing much happening on the uni front, or work front, has been pretty boring...

LOneLy...

13 weeks and counting, still no luck with online dating, my "friend" suddenly messaged again about 2 weeks ago  and we have been pretty much messaging each other daily for the last 2 weeks, and then I mentioned I don't do sleepovers or overnights, and it's goodbye friend... it hurt, but realistically, I knew that our "friendship" was not realistic and sustainable anyway... it was fun whilst it lasted...

nothing very much to look forward to nowadays as well... work and uni are pretty much the same...

did I mention my laptop died on me suddenly, so now I have a new Dell laptop, which has been pretty good so far...

when will the pain and hurt from losing Pete go away, or will it ever go away... I guess time will tell... I hope he is well and happy wherever he may be... 

ever had the feeling when you are laughing on the outside but actually hurting on the inside...

DiSHEARteniNG...

2 weeks of mum and papa came and went... usual unhappiness, quarelling, what's new...

easter long weekend... easter friday, just went to watch pacific rim at chatswood hoyts...

sat... went to baia for lunch, then karaoke...

sun/mon... hunter valley roadtrip... the accommodation at the irish pub was pretty good... 

online dating front... last sunday, must be a fluke, but I was chatting to 3 guys at a time, and pretty much spent all afternoon and night chatting... monday... same thing, met this guy online who proposed we become friends instead, slight misunderstanding on his part about being friends with benefits...

fast forward one week, ended up blocking one guy, who knows what's going on with the other guy, and my 'friend' has pretty much moved on... oh well... 

anyway, no idea what got me to start spilling about my online dating venture to people at work, I think I thought now that MAFS has ended, I needed another topic to engage with people, so now, this is pretty much what we were talking about during lunch nowadays... 

uni front, cross my fingers and toes... it looks like I may have my first participant this week... one is definitely better than nothing... 

10 weeks and counting...

为什么。。。

Met this guy online, met up twice, and realised we have nothing in common, he has many issues going on, and not gentlemanly at all, and I have a sneaking suspicion he thought I stole his watch as well, that was the last straw, in the end, we both agreed to end it yesterday... the only thing I took away for this brief fling was I learnt a few things about you know what... 

7 weeks and counting...

ThiS iS a JoKE...

6 weeks and counting since I am back to singlehood and back on online dating, can be disheartening at times, exchanged numbers with some, even spoke on the phone and got ignored with no reason, some even may have been lying to me, and today, found one even more creepy, exchanged numbers, he kept talking about sex, and he is probably chatting to so many other women he has forgotten and mixed up stories, and his responses became bizarre and not making sense, weirdo! spammed and deleted their numbers...

oh well, all I can do is keep persevering, what else... do I believe in Fate?

nothing much more to report on besides work... as usual...

uni... sucks as well, panicked becos it's the start of semester and I am not getting any appropriate participants for my study... will have to cross my fingers and toes...

nothing very much to look forward to nowadays... parents visiting over Easter... we got hooked on this reality show called Marriage at First Sight... can't believe it man... but that's ending soon too...