LOneLy...

13 weeks and counting, still no luck with online dating, my "friend" suddenly messaged again about 2 weeks ago  and we have been pretty much messaging each other daily for the last 2 weeks, and then I mentioned I don't do sleepovers or overnights, and it's goodbye friend... it hurt, but realistically, I knew that our "friendship" was not realistic and sustainable anyway... it was fun whilst it lasted...

nothing very much to look forward to nowadays as well... work and uni are pretty much the same...

did I mention my laptop died on me suddenly, so now I have a new Dell laptop, which has been pretty good so far...

when will the pain and hurt from losing Pete go away, or will it ever go away... I guess time will tell... I hope he is well and happy wherever he may be... 

ever had the feeling when you are laughing on the outside but actually hurting on the inside...

DiSHEARteniNG...

2 weeks of mum and papa came and went... usual unhappiness, quarelling, what's new...

easter long weekend... easter friday, just went to watch pacific rim at chatswood hoyts...

sat... went to baia for lunch, then karaoke...

sun/mon... hunter valley roadtrip... the accommodation at the irish pub was pretty good... 

online dating front... last sunday, must be a fluke, but I was chatting to 3 guys at a time, and pretty much spent all afternoon and night chatting... monday... same thing, met this guy online who proposed we become friends instead, slight misunderstanding on his part about being friends with benefits...

fast forward one week, ended up blocking one guy, who knows what's going on with the other guy, and my 'friend' has pretty much moved on... oh well... 

anyway, no idea what got me to start spilling about my online dating venture to people at work, I think I thought now that MAFS has ended, I needed another topic to engage with people, so now, this is pretty much what we were talking about during lunch nowadays... 

uni front, cross my fingers and toes... it looks like I may have my first participant this week... one is definitely better than nothing... 

10 weeks and counting...

为什么。。。

Met this guy online, met up twice, and realised we have nothing in common, he has many issues going on, and not gentlemanly at all, and I have a sneaking suspicion he thought I stole his watch as well, that was the last straw, in the end, we both agreed to end it yesterday... the only thing I took away for this brief fling was I learnt a few things about you know what... 

7 weeks and counting...

ThiS iS a JoKE...

6 weeks and counting since I am back to singlehood and back on online dating, can be disheartening at times, exchanged numbers with some, even spoke on the phone and got ignored with no reason, some even may have been lying to me, and today, found one even more creepy, exchanged numbers, he kept talking about sex, and he is probably chatting to so many other women he has forgotten and mixed up stories, and his responses became bizarre and not making sense, weirdo! spammed and deleted their numbers...

oh well, all I can do is keep persevering, what else... do I believe in Fate?

nothing much more to report on besides work... as usual...

uni... sucks as well, panicked becos it's the start of semester and I am not getting any appropriate participants for my study... will have to cross my fingers and toes...

nothing very much to look forward to nowadays... parents visiting over Easter... we got hooked on this reality show called Marriage at First Sight... can't believe it man... but that's ending soon too...

GoODbYe...

After approx 5 months, on 27th Jan 2018, we're done. And I mean done, I am so pissed and annoyed, did not even cry this time.

ADF, your bird are obviously more important to you, in addition to your passive attitude, your unwillingness to step out of your comfort zone, hygiene standards, have all reminded me that we are never going to work. 

Goodbye.

Japan/Seoul Dec 2017- Jan 2018...

Last day before I have to go back to work, disgusting!!!

Leaving Sydney

The stupid lift was broken, which meant we had to carry our luggages down the stairs and by the time we arrived at the station, we were both sweating and exhausted, disgusting! It was so crowded at the airport, and as usual, I hate flying.

Brief stopover in Singapore

Had my fishball noodles, cai tao kueh, and iced lemon tea, sat around for awhile and papa suggested why don't we drive back home, take a quick shower and nap and then return to airport... that turned out to be a brilliant suggestion, becos I was so tired, my eyes refused to open when it was time to drive back to the airport.

Osaka

Another 7 hours from Singapore to Osaka... more flying... Arrived in Osaka KIX International at about 0900 Xmas Eve. It was freezing cold... Managed to figure out our way to the train station where our accommodation supposedly is at via train... We got lost trying to find out way from the station to the accommodation, we had to ask people along the way, and try and figure out these maps written in half Jap and half English... it was not fun lugging our luggages through the streets... took us quite awhile to actually find the place, luckily there was this kind restaurant person who directed us there... so we decided to eat there out of gratitude, turns out the food sucks, and people were smoking in there... that's one thing I did not like about Japan, people are allowed to smoke indoors... the accommodation itself was pretty good, situated in a pretty good location surrounded by food, apparently it's meant to be a dodgy area, but it turned out alright, even when we arrived back in the hotel late... 

It rained the first 2 days we were there, and also on our day tour to Kyoto, Nara and Kobe... that was a long day... the tour to Kyoto and Nara was good, except the traffic from Kyoto to Kobe was a nightmare, which meant it took us 2 hours to get to Kobe and all we did there was eat and then came back... did not get to walk around the shops or do anything else... we found a yummy and relatively cheaper unagi restaurant near our accommodation, and went there to eat a few times...  

The next day we just walked around the city area, and went for this famous buffet at this hotel, which was alright, and then checked out the night scenery at Umeda Sky Building... it was freezing cold and windy up there... 

The other good thing about our accommodation was it had coin laundry, which meant that we could some washing.

Kyoto

Caught the Shinkansen to Kyoto which only took 15 mins... again, we got lost trying to find the accommodation, and it was damn far from the train station, approx 20mins walk, and it started snowing... it was not fun lugging our luggages through the streets, lost and when it was snowing... we finally managed to ask for directions and arrived at the accommodation, it was alright, but too far from the station, and the closest shopping centre for food was approx 10mins walk... 

We decided to catch the Shinkansen to this Himeji castle... luckily for us, the weather was great that day... climbing the steps up and down the castle was painful and tiring, cos it was quite high and steep stairs... luckily it was not that crowded when we were there... the same afternoon, we paid for this walking tour of Kyoto, which turned out to be a mistake, becos we were already pretty tired from walking the castle in the morning, and then more walking to temples x2 and to Gion, which was famous for its Geishas... Pongie was not impressed... at this stage, we are gradually realising that we are not really suited to Japanese food, and we ate alot of Macdonalds whilst we were there in Japan actually, cos food was expensive and did not suit us... 

The next day, we booked a tea ceremony, again it took us a while to locate this place and stumbled upon this food place, again side note here, never visit Japan during Xmas and New Year cos everywhere is pretty much packed, and queues for everything, food, toilets, public transport... pongie really liked this teppanyaki place that we decided to try... it was expensive but good... the tea ceremony was an eye opener, the only thing was that the place was meant to be like a sanctuary, and meant to be peaceful and quiet, but unfortunately somewhere nearby, there was construction works going on, hence all I can hear is drilling... 

Again, there was coin laundry facilities so we managed to do some laundry...

Tokyo

Again caught the Shinkansen to Tokyo from Kyoto, which was about 2.5 hours ride... we decided to catch a taxi from Tokyo station to our accommodation instead this time, and I did a boo boo, and forgot to pack the address with me, needless to say, pongie again was not impressed, and it got worse when we actually found the place, and it was pretty much a shithole... I was so not impressed as well, it was like a backpackers place in a dark alley, and it was not cheap... and the futons were uncomfortable, and the place was not the cleanest either... and we had to spend 2 nights there, including New Years Eve, so needless to say, my New Years Eve 2017/2018 was not spent happily...my review for that place was stinging. And the washing machine looked disgusting, we did not even bother trying to do some laundry.

Anyway, the next day, we decided to make our way to Shin-Yokohama, where the ramen museum is located, again we got lost, and after asking for directions and spending lots of time getting lost, we finally found the place, and it was already crowded with people, again queues everywhere... we managed to try 2 different stalls of ramen... the first one was much better than the second one... it snowed that day, but only briefly and we were in the train so did not get snowed on...

The next day, we decided to head to Akihabara, to experience the maid cafe, needless to say, there were queues again, and it was weird how males of varying ages were queuing at the maid cafe, and seeing these males do cutesy gestures and sounds... it was damn weird... the food sucked, and it was expensive, so it was pretty much more of a once off experience for us... after that, we decided to try going to Harajuku, bad mistake, it was packed with people, along the shopping area, and we must be insane to even decide to visit the famous temple there, Meiji Shrine, we queued for like 1.5 hours before we actually got into the temple and took some pictures and was there for only like 10mins... it was crazy... then we thought we might as well go visit Shibuya since it's like the next stop anyway, food was expensive and not to our tastes, so guess what we ended up eating... it was funny to see other tourists like us stopping to take pictures in the middle of the famous intersection... 

The next day, we decided to catch the Shinkansen to Matsumoto, which was like another 2.5 hours away from Tokyo, it was exciting going there becos we got to sit on the new Shinkansen called Azusa, which only debuted in December, and it really looked like a transformer, it was very cool looking... the castle was pretty much similar to Himeji so we didn't actually pay to go in, and just walked around the garden outside... and of course we got lost trying to find this castle, and found Ippudo... I ate ALOT of ramen that day... even pongie was shocked at how much I ate... the trip back was not fun though, it was very long, cos we sat on the slower train... like 3 hours long... the accommodation was so damn small and squeezy, there was barely room to walk, we only could open one luggage at a time... 

The next day, we decided to check out Asakusa, again it was packed, queues leading to the famous temple... but not as bad as the queue at Meiji Shrine... we didn't end up going into the temple though, it was too crowded... we decided to hang at the visitor's centre for awhile to wait for the lighting up of the Tokyo Skytree tower... it was freezing cold... and ended up finding out that it does not get illuminated with the blue lighting until much later, so we decided not to wait and left... 

The next day, it was time to leave for Hakone on the Romance train, which now I realised I did not have to pay the extra money becos we had to alight at Odawara station instead of Hakone Yumoto station, becos the hotel shuttle service only picks up and drops off at Odawara. Anyway, we decided to treat ourselves to very expensive unagi meal before leaving... The Romance train turned out to be pretty ordinary, and the seat space was not as wide as the Shinkansen, which meant we were squeezed in with our luggages for like 1.5 hours.

Hakone

Ok, the Prince hotel which we stayed in was the best accommodation out of all the accommodation we stayed in during the trip. The only issue was the location, it was pretty isolated, but they offer shuttle service to and from the bus-stop and to and from Odawara station... but which also meant that food was a problem, so we pretty much ended up eating cup noodles for most meals... and paid for buffet breakfast on 2 days only... the other good thing to mention is the onsen, we went twice a day, and for some reason, most of the guests there were Japanese, which was good, in terms of etiquette... customer service was excellent...

The next day, we decided to catch a bus to check out the Hakone Yumoto area, it started snowing when we left the hotel... we caught the bus x2 to Gora station and then caught the railway to Hakone Yumoto station, and found out that the ropeway was closed due to volcanic gases. Disappointing!

The next day, it was the paid guided tour day, it turned out to be a very disppointing tour day for us, in terms of the guide himself, and the fact that that ropeway remained closed, and we could not visit Owakudani, the sulphur springs place... and traffic was really bad as well that day, which meant everything took extra long... so we ended up only experiencing the Lake Ashi cruise and the Mishima Skywalk... it must have snowed the previous day before, cos the ground was covered in snow, at least it was a fine day, which meant we could see Mt Fuji really clearly... I provided some really constructive feedback to the tour operator. It was very disappointing.

Time to catch a plane from Haneda Airport to Seoul Gimpo airport the next day... didn't do very much that day, spent most time in the hotel in the morning until checkout time, then caught the shuttle to Odawara station, then a Shinkansen to Shin Yokohama station, and then a bus to the airport... and then spent the time there until it was time to fly...

Seoul

Arrived in Seoul pretty late at about 2300... luckily we booked a taxi in advance, otherwise we would be queuing the cold for a taxi at the airport... the taxi ahjussi was hilarious, as soon as he head where we were heading, he was like oh I know I know, I know the owner of Dalzip Bukchon very well, and he started playing SNSD videos on youtube on his tablet... by the time we arrived at the hanok, it was pretty late, luckily the manager of the place spoke English, got us settled in, it was pretty small and cozy, and we were very lucky to have the whole place to ourselves, otherwise we would have to share the bathroom and toilet facilities... 

Breakfast was prepared by the manager the next day, it was pretty simple Korean style meal, the issue arose when I had to do business number 2 and clogged up the toilet and the toilet overflowed... luckily it was just water, and not crap... but the manager was not impressed... so apparently in Korea, we are not meant to throw used toilet paper in the toilet, how freaking DISGUSTING is that??!! ok side note here, the total number of times I have clogged up public toilets whilst in Seoul was 3 times- one in the hanok, once in Miss Lee cafe and once in Ssamziegil... yikes! That's probably the only thing that I dislike about Korea... 

The process of having to drag our luggages along the Bukchon area to Anguk station was painful, it was like approx 30mins walk, and the other thing I dislike about Seoul train stations is the lack of elevators... we had to carry our luggages up and down stairs multiple times... painful! Anyway, we finally managed to locate Hotel Skypark Central in Myeongdong after getting lost again... and decided to make our way back to Anguk where Samcheongdong is... we also found really yummy odeng and this really yummy waffle cafe, and ate at Miss Lee cafe... where they had the kimchi fried rice lunchbox, the ttoekbukki was super spicy! ok side note again, I got sick with a sore throat, cough and cold, and passed my bugs to pongie, which she obviously was not impressed about, and she was pretty sick... 

The next day... it's our booked day trip to Nami Island and Rail biking... the tour started early, and we found out that it was only us on the tour, which was good and bad in a way... our tourguide was really good, and it was good that all we had to do was follow and meet at a certain place and time, and be transported everywhere, without having to find our way on our own, becos based on our record for the last 2 weeks trying to navigate maps and find places, we suck. It was so cold but so pretty at Nami Island, it was about an hours' drive from Seoul and then another 15 mins on the ferry... we got there pretty early, so there was pretty much nobody, we found this really yummy cafe, and by the time we came out of the cafe,  the place was starting to get crowded... mostly Asians, Phillipinos, and Koreans... we got to spend quite alot of time exploring the island, it would have been nice if it were less cold, it was freezing... pongie and I decided that we might come back when it's warmer and maybe stay overnight there, but the issue would be actually getting there ourselves I think... and we also found another place where they had the kimchi fried rice lunchbox... and then it was rail biking time, again it was freezing and it was really exhausting... and becos it was so cold and with the wind blowing, it was hard to breathe at times... toilet facilities there was gross, there was no basin to wash your hands in, and no soap in some public toilets... both in Japan and Seoul... the final stop was to this ginseng museum, which was awkward becos we turned out to be the only ones there, and I felt like we were being pressured into buying... it started snowing pretty heavily then... 

The next day, we checked into another hotel and again got lost, story of our lives, took us awhile to locate this place, asking people along the way, and lugging our luggages up and down stairs and along the streets, finally found the place, great customer service but far from any food or shopping places, although they do offer a shuttle service... the room was pretty good, probably the next best one after Prince hotel... after settling down, we decided to go Hongdae and tried their noraebang... it was challenging becos of the language barrier, and when we finally figured out how to use the system, we only had like 30mins to go... it was a good experience, but the room we got was pretty crap... 

The next day, we decided to make our way to Gwanghwamun to watch the royal guard ceremony, it was the coldest day of our entire trip, it was like minus 12 degrees! my face and body actually hurt from being outside, it was bad... and of course the ceremony was outside, it was freezing, we had to seek warmth underground after... we decided to go look for the Baskin and Robbins cafe which we ate at the last time, but I think it's gone... we ended up heading to Myeongdong to browse the shops, bought quite alot of facial masks, and found this little family restaurant selling Gimbap and Kimchi fried rice... and then decided to catch a train to Seoul station to buy pads at Lotte Mart and Baskin and Robbins ice cream, yum! it is so cheap there as compared to Sydney... 

Last day in Seoul... decided to go back to Samcheongdong to eat at Miss Lee cafe and at my yummy waffle cafe, and then realised that there is another Miss Lee cafe near the waffle place too... and then it was time to catch a airport limousine bus from our accommodation to Seoul Incheon Aiport which was like approx 1.5 hours journey. We just hung around there, until it was time to fly off, but we did manage to find a restaurant which had pongie's mackeral fish and my kimchi fried rice too... and then it's 10.5 hours flight back to Sydney... the flight back was turbulent, disgusting!

Sydney

Arrived back in Sydney, and the temperature luckily was like 25 degrees, which was bad considering we came from like minus 10 degrees in Seoul the day before... but not like freaking 40 degrees... and touch wood, it 's been pretty cool the last few days since we got back but the weather forecast is predicting that the mercury is soaring again this week... 

Dreading going back to work, uni starting, paying the mortgage for the townhouse this year, and what's going to happen between Pete and I, at this stage, it's not looking good.

Mum and papa are visiting again during the Easter holidays... fun times. Not.

超恨这个地方。。。

work still sucks, can't believe I have to endure another year of being at concord and in this department... can't wait to either leave this department or the hospital altogether... 

Pete and I are still going well on this time-limited relationship thing... depending on when ADF happens really... it will hurt when we have to end it once and for all but I don't think I can wait for him for who knows how long... and hygiene is another big issue for me... 

Pongie's masquerade party was very nice, but not my style, and we had another argument becos of that... anyway, she has another work cruise thing happening, so I had this brainstorm to stay in the city for a night cos we are planning to hang out in the city on sat anyway... and Pongie suggested staying one night at Hyatt... ooohhh.... looks really posh and nice... can't wait for friday... 

still counting down to our holidays... wish time would pass quicker... boiling hot this whole week, another hot and sweaty summer...

SeCOnd CHanCe...

sooo... we finally met up after 3 weeks... went to the movies, had ramen, went to check out barangaroo and cockatoo island, was actually quite surprised by the history on that island... we finally talked things through, and we are going to have another go... so watch this space... despite some uncertainties still, I feel more settled knowing that we are on the same page atm and are both committed to making this second chance work... 

work-wise, still not really enjoying work atm, having to report every move I make, and feeling like I am being watched... wish I was back at Lemongrove...

work xmas lunch next sun, boring, don't even feel like going and having to see work people 6 days in a row, but being a newbie I feel like I have to make an effort... and we decided to go to pongie's masquerade xmas party, yay! excited, finally get to wear something nice and a nice mask...

other than that, counting down to our holidays...

UNseTTLed...

Things remain pessimistic atm, nothing is really going well, work wise, got yelled at over the phone from a family member, got threatened by the NUM and no Level 3 positions for me anytime soon...

I gave in and rang him on friday, just wanting to know if there is a chance we can be together again, he said yes, but he is sick atm, and since then we have been chatting on and off, but the feeling is not the same anymore, and who knows what is really happening behind my back... 

Life really is not the best atm... dreading to go to work each day, still waiting around for him... I am a fool...

CRuEL...

Now I finally know how cruel and hurtful someone can be... cos I think he must have deleted and blocked... and pathetic fool that I am... still holding out hope that things may turn for the better... deleted the whatsapp chat and his number from the contact list, but it's still on my phone, still keeping the pictures... I just realised that whatsapp still has the mobile numbers of my exes... don't think I can ever be as cruel as to block numbers... he must really be pissed and hates me...

为什么。。。

After 2 months, we finally decided to end it yesterday over the phone, or rather, I decided to end it, cos he was just giving me all these excuses and not willing to compromise at all... does this mean that I will remain an old spinster for the rest of my life... none of the last 3 relationships lasted more than 2 months... what a joke... and all said the L word, but when it really comes down to it, none of them fought for me... nothing to look forward to except our holiday in Dec...

STop...

work is still not going well... and funny how when things go smoothly, everything seems rosy but when small little things like trackwork happens, and I realise that I have been compromising by travelling to him, and now he is not willing to travel to me, things become clear that we are not going to work out becos I can't always be the one compromising and giving in, and when small little hiccups happen, we just seem to fall apart easily... what a joke... just end it now already...

I will be devastated, but I dunno if it's becos there is no longer anything to look forward to or that I actually like him... life goes on though...

iROny...

Week 3 into my new job at Concord and it's not going well at all... I dunno if it's becos I feel like I have lost some independence, or different ways of doing things, but an incident happened today involving my Mandarin speaking amputee patient which made me question myself as a clinician and my clinical reasoning skills... and I really don't like this feeling... ironic how I wish I was still at Lemongrove or Nepean...  and now with my uni project, work is making me feel like I am taking time out of my clinical caseload to work on my project and making me feel bad about it... I really don't like my current work situation at all...

LiFE is NOt GoiNg well...

Unbelievable... 7 years travelling to and from Nepean approx 55km one way, nothing happened, less than 2 weeks into the new job at Concord approx 20km one way, and I had a car accident, freaking idiot 2 cars down must have suddenly decided to turn into the petrol station to get petrol, slowed down and all 3 cars behind him including me did not manage to brake in time, and slammed into each other... thank goodness the car in front was a 4 wheel drive, otherwise, it could have been much worse, and that the car behind didn't hit me... Hyungie's front is dented, but other than that, he was still driveable... and luckily the 2 guys in both cars were nice about the whole thing... spent like 20mins on the phone with AAMI, providing details, and got annoyed when I was told the nearest repair and assessment centre was like 30mins away... I was like are you freaking kidding me??!! Anyway, I managed to get them to find one at Asquith but they are fully booked until 23/10/17, which meant that we could not drive Hyungie until then... this whole new job and new change is not working out for me atm...

Uni is also giving me a headache... work as well... becos the service is only commencing on 30/10/17, so basically I am just helping out on the rehab ward, doing bits and pieces, have a patient on the ward atm who is Mandarin/Cantonese speaking, and I think I spoke more Mandarin than I ever had in ages... and having to wake up at like 0530 to catch the train and bus??!!

This thing with Pete is also giving me a headache... I am feeling more and more like we are not going to work out, and I am considering if I should just end it now and stop wasting our time, or hold off until when he leaves... 

So basically, life is not going well for me atm...

COmProMiSe or SEttLinG...

ok 3 weeks on from my last post, things are going well and not well?? 

pros- he is nice, he seems serious about us, and he is pretty good in let's say skinship areas... he is pretty hairy though, arms and legs...

cons- I have been to his place about 4 times now, I was alittle turned off by the bird shit on the floor, the house is generally not the cleanest, and hygiene is not a priority, his bird is like flying everywhere, he does not like talking about his family, he is going away for months on end once he gets into the navy, and yesterday, he brought me on this walk, which turned out to be a short walk through the bush, and I ended up with cuts, and it was a 4km walk, and we saw 2 dead snakes, yes... and yesterday, he told me that he bought my birthday present from the reject shop... I was like thinking to myself, you should have just kept that information to yourself Pete... not a good thing to tell a girl that... we like different things... he lives far away...

I have this feeling that we may not work out in the end, and I am back at online dating again... painful... 

my last days at Lemongrove CHC came and went... had multiple farewell lunches with both the people from the hospital and Lemongrove... got some presents, gardening stuff, gift vouchers... can't believe that I have actually resigned from NBMLHD, after all this time... and starting work in another place after so long... did my public transport and driving trials... had a headache and felt nauseous from the bus... urghhh... and parking is probably worse at concord cos it's all 2 hour parking slots only...

希望。。。

Soooo 3 weeks since the last post, I have again rejected number 2 twice, I seriously can't believe he messaged me again even after we decided that we should not continue, anyway, goodbye permanently to number 2, and hello number 3...

I have only known number 3 for about 2.5 weeks and it's scary how we are going too well, we have only met up twice to date, but of course, chatting nightly... and he has even video called mum yesterday... I hope that we do end up together in the long term, but there are a few barriers still, which I have yet to address or can address at this stage... so really watch this space...

Met up with Kara the other day for lunch at work, and she dropped a bomb, informing me that Nat and Gavin are dating, I was like WTF... anyway, if it was me say a few years ago, I might be upset but now, all I can say is that number 3 is the best so far... 

Anyway, 3 more weeks until I say goodbye to Nepean/Lemongrove permanently, and at this stage, I have to say that I am more excited than sad, and am looking forward to a fresh start...

Oh, and the stupid North Korean leader is threatening to drop missiles left right and centre, which is seriously impacting on my travel plans in december, shitty... 

Uni is just simply painful... as usual...

WTF...

Something strange is seriously happening to me... I just said that I started chatting to this caucasian yesterday on POF, we decided to whatsapp today instead, and then he has already said the L word... I am like whoa, we have not even known each other for long, yet to even talk on the phone, or meet each other, and this random guy is already confessing... WTF... 

Sooo, all I am saying is, so far, all 3 online dating guys have all said the L word to me at one point... but nothing has really come of it... maybe guys nowadays throw the L word around like it means nothing... crazy... and now I am feeling slightly bad towards number 2... does this count as me two timing the both of them?? but people kept telling me to keep my options open...

Is this all going to blow up in my face?? Watch this space...

CoiNciDenCe. Fate. KARmA...

OMG, sometimes, even if you don't believe in things like fate or coincidence, the universe proves you wrong, like what happened with the Duffys, Janelle, and now this morning... 

Dropped Hyungie off for service at Parramatta, then caught a lift to the station, and then went to the toilet, and then as I was walking out of the toilet, I looked down and saw someone who looked 90% like my ex number 1, we made eye contact, but at that instant, it did not immediately register, and I kept walking, but then I realised that he might actually be who I thought it was, I did not dare to stop to turn around to look, but then I saw someone who looked really like him come up on the escalator and walked to the platform next to mine, but he walked in the opposite direction from where I was standing... it was freaking crazy... 

And then I waited sooo long at the strathfield bus stop for the bus to get to concord hospital, started talking to this couple at the bus-stop, and also guess what, after finishing seeing the nurse in the chest clinic, and finding out that I might have latent tuberculosis??!! I was walking out to the cafe and out comes the couple again... and I did do a crazy thing as well, seeing as how I had a close shave with ex number 1, I decided what the hell, and messaged ex number 2 asking him out for lunch... he actually agreed... went to petaling for lunch then walked to this park at central for awhile... he told me nothing has changed, but who knows right... I think I know what he wants, but I don't know what I am wanting out of this... we are not friends, and we are not 'dating', something in between, who knows what... and now I just started chatting to this caucasian on POF as well... I am a bad person... really, cos I yelled at papa, and chased him out of the house on sunday... Karma...

LEt Go...

uni wise, still painfully plodding along slowly... totally regret taking this on everytime it's assignment due date time...

Concord finally responded and it is looking like my last day at NBMLHD will be sometime in mid-late Sept 2017... Hope that this will be a positive and possibly rewarding change... 

nothing much happening other than work and uni... back to the boring days again... nothing much happening still on the online dating front... feel like I should be doing something more to spice up my current monotonous life... I really should move on rather than being stuck in the past... I actually think that now that I have experienced what it can be like, it is worse than not knowing... oh well... not much I can do about it is there...

Mum and papa are coming to visit again... painful...still remembered what happened the last time they came...

On a more positive note, my birthday is coming in 2 weeks time... yay... it's looking like it's going to be hanging out with family and then laser tag with badminton gang again... and I am going to treat myself to some massage, no money to go on a roadtrip this time... have to save up for our Japan/Korea trip...

PleASE...

sooo, in the last blog, I said we finally decided to say goodbye on 6th June, and then all of a freaking sudden, when I have started to forget about him, he freaking decides to whatsapp me again on sunday (16th July), out of the blue, I was actually pissed initially, and I kept like swinging back and forth about what I want to do... I hate myself sometimes...