SLOThiNG...

HellO Singapore and Home... Week 3 of my 4 week holidays of being a sloth...

The flight home was ok, some slight turbulence here and there, thank God, the food was as usual gross, and what's worse was, clumsy me, spilled apple juice on my pants and shoes at the start of the flight, yay! Not... Never going to order apple juice again! did not eat much, even the ice cream was not great... watched finding dory and that was it... pretty much slept through the journey, as much as I could... usual crying babies and smell of indian curry on my right and left...

since I arrived home, managed to eat most of the food I have been craving for, except the stingray we had at gluttons bay yesterday sucked... bought alot of clothes, clothing here are VERY expensive... bought more food, and now I am thinking my luggage will not be able to accommodate all the crap I have bought... met up with most people and I have decided that I will not contact siti or veena in future when I visit, cos they do not seem to put in the effort to make time to meet up since the last time I came back in Feb 2016... so why should I continue bothering... I did manage to meet up with Mellishia though, which was great becos I have not seen her for years now... can't even remember the last time I met up with her... this time around, most of the discussion topics centre around babies, childcare etc... and realreal is now pregnant with baby number 2... Fran is getting married soon... alamak!

pretty much hot and raining and humid since I am here, equals GROSS... just sitting or standing and I am sweating profusely... and not forgetting the multiple mosquito bites that I have been getting and still getting... got hooked to watching this channel 8 show on nurses... pretty good show... and pongie recommended this new china singing competition show with JJ Lin, Hebe, Zhang Hui Mei, Yu Quan and Xiao Jing Teng as judges, not bad, but the concept is still not as difficult as the Zhong Guo Hao Ge Qu... still showing... 

today, went to toa payoh with papa to collect my glasses and to eat prata (unfortunately, the prata store is closed for renovations), anyway, got roped into being interviewed for this channel 8 documentary show talking about airbnb and whether singapore should also legalise a similar concept here... both papa and I did it separately, and I looked shocking on video (cos he videoed it), and of course, I was sweating profusely on camera, like I always do even at home, great, there goes my public image!

anyway, uni side, thank god I did so much better in the second assignment, and managed to get a distinction for this semester, yay!

countdown to going back to sydney, to work, and to studying :(

Au RevOiR NEPeaN...

Goodbye Nepean Hospital... it has been mostly good for the last 6 years, except for a few irritants... Did not get to say goodbye to a few people, and was alittle disappointed with the farewells, but hey, no point getting upset over this, looking forward to being a sloth at home back in singapore, except for the flights and the weather... hopefully I will do well in this module this semester, and that TACP will be a good rotation for me... won't be going to the OT dept or the Aged Care Xmas party, but decided to go to the rehab one, even though it's on a random wednesday night and thai food :( but I am hoping that the people there will make up for it... 

Crossing my fingers and toes that 2017 will be a year where I will get my dream rehab senior job closer to home and maybe even buy a townhouse! and maybe find someone nice and good to me...

失望。。。

All I can say is I am always setting myself up for disappointments, even though I kept telling myself that it is not possible, I keep expecting something more, and ending up in feeling disappointed... really need to find another distraction...

prisy got me hooked on this new korean drama called love in the moonlight, similar plot like the moon and the sun show, but the timing always sucks, did not do well in the first assignment this semester, and kept telling myself that I should be concentrating on doing better in the upcoming assignment, but always becoming distracted, and no motivation whatsoever... just hoping that I can do better in this next assignment so hopefully will pull my grades up for this semester... looking forward to my holiday... kept telling everyone at work that I am really looking forward to going into the community, so hopefully I will enjoy the rotation, and I am really hoping that I will be lucky enough to get a senior rehab position sometime next year close to home before I rotate into MRT again...

SUmmEr's HERe...

recap on the recent roadtrip to bowral/moss vale, I actually was allocated a male masseuse, it was weird initially, but after that, I was like whatever, nothing amazing to see anyway... after that, went to check out our accomodation, it was refurbished quite nicely indoors, parisian- style... and the bed was very comfortable, the bathroom was quite big as well... would not mind staying there again... although the cooked breakfast was only so-so... 

otherwise, nothing much happening... trying to play as much badminton as I can before I go back to singapore, to lose some weight, which really I don't think it's working, cos I think I ate as much if not more than what I lost during exercise... work wise, nothing very much happening... bought 2 boxes of wipes for kara's baby shower, and an animal puzzle game for shelby, apparently, shelby loves destroying the puzzle when it's all sorted... she is really cute... also bought a mobile hanging animal thing for rehab mel's baby... started emptying out my desk and clearing things in preparation for rotation... 

uni wise, thought that this semester would be a little easier cos it's more relevant to what I am doing at work, but it is turning out to be more challenging than I thought... hopefully, I will pass the module, yikes!

oh, and side note, I was just browsing through my facebook feed one day like I always do, and guess who popped out on people who I may know... yup my ex of 3 months... and for some really weird reason, his profile name is something bizarre called coco jambo??!! I panicked a little when I saw his picture, initially thought it may be a scammer using his pictures but then I clicked into the profile, and it was all pictures of him, and also some of the ones which he sent to me before, which now I know some were pretty old... anyway, I don't know how facebook decides that he is somehow linked to me, but I deleted him on my newsfeed page anyway... 

Counting down to me being a sloth when I go back home in 3 weeks' time!

DayLiGht SaVinGs StarTiNg AgAin...

have not been blogging recently, nothing very exciting happening... major entertainment news though, Brad and Angelina divorced!!! what a shame, and they have 6 kids! my life currently consists of working, assignment, badminton... yup, BORING!

work wise, the new grad still needing quite abit of feedback, and Hannah did not get the MRT position, which personally, I was glad, becos I think she is a good clinician, but sometimes, she comes across as a know it all at times, and it's a Level 2 position, so hopefully we can get someone new and good... 

abit of gossip... prisy and co have been hanging out ALOT with Alex and Kelvin... we all know that Christine really likes Kelvin, but we don't know if it's mutual on his part, but then prisy thinks that Alex may also like Christine, but I initially thought Alex likes Prisy... but then, Alex also hangs out ALOT with Marga... so who knows what's going on with Marga and Jack... anyway, just gossiping... 

once assignment 1 is done, will have to start on assignment 2, and then the weekly postings, and then it's holidays!!! my plan is to be a sloth at home, eat and sleep, and then eat again...  hence I am trying to work hard at badminton nowadays before I go home... and I bought the pirate roulette game after being inspired by running man the other day...

yay! really looking forward to our roadtrip to bowral/moss vale tomorrow, I need a massage! the only annoying thing is that I still have to work on my assignment on the roadtrip :(

HAppY 31st...

my birthday celebrations recap... went for badminton, yum cha (not nice), then laser tag at rosehill, it was tiring, sweaty but fun... 4 levels to run around in, and the group which came along were fun to play with, and then we went for korean at eastwood, much better food, and then dessert at oliver brown... 

friday, bought the rainbow cake for work, and deanna also organised a morning tea the same day for the LGBTQI fund raising thing, which then led me to think that she may be one of them too... and we had aged care breakfast in the morning, then this morning tea, then my usual chicken schnitzel, then my cake and then dinner at lao chufang, unfortunately the food was not great that day, for some reason, so I was pretty much constantly eating the whole day... and christine and prisy bought me chocolatey stuff for my birthday... and rhia bought me 2 packets of caramello... I am so fat it's not funny... 

saturday, it was the cherry blossom festival at auburn, went with auntie and uncle in the end, cos prisy injured her foot at badminton... it was quite disappointing actually... met up with fangying there as well... luckily the weather was really good that day... and then we went to strathfield for lunch, at this new malaysian cafe... I ordered the prata, but it was too crispy for my liking... and then went over to prisy's to catch up on running man... 

today, working :( luckily the day went pretty quick... ADO tomorrow, really have to start working on my assignment, the deadline is getting closer and closer by the day... urgghh... 

workwise, a new staff member started in aged care, a brand new grad, so everything was really new for her, so had to spend some time to explain everything from scratch... other than that, nothing much else happening... 

nainai had a fall the other day, injured her leg, and then a fever, and then her leg swelled, and sudden onset of confusion... had all of us worried sick... and now mum's also sick with a cold and fever...

3 MOnTHs...

yup, we finally broke up for real today, after watching Jason Bourne in gold class in the city, again the whole conversation, not really even a conversation, it was pretty much me telling him, lasted for less than 5mins... and here I was stressing for the last week, about what and how I should say it... but in the end, did not end up saying what I mentally prepared... Alex did not even say much... 

oh and recently, for some weird reason, hanging out more and more with Fangying, we have now been to karaoke together twice, and went out to eat twice now... and she got me hooked onto this japanese craze, and the queues were sooo long for the last few times we were there, but tocheesecake day for some really strange reason, there was pretty much no queue, and I was able to buy 4x cakes for us both, and only having to queue for maybe 5mins :)

our last few weekends have been sooo busy and hectic, pongie and I have been complaining that we have not had a weekend where we can just relax and be sloths for the day... it's pretty much cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and then some sort of activity happening on sat... and then it's badminton on sundays, lunch and then auntie's...  where got time to study??!!

and I have also registered for some speed dating websites, and will also be returning to online dating websites when I actually have some time to myself... I can just imagine myself going back on OKC and seeing Alex back on there too, AWKWARD!!!

生病了。。。

work wise, many changes happening, staff wise, with maternity leave, secondments, and new staff starting... off sick today, probably a combination of being crazy busy at work last week, and on the weekend, still hoping that the rotations will continue, cos I have given up on a few positions to wait for the community rotation... uni has started, which means another few months of eyes and brain bleed from the crazy volume of journals I have to read to complete the assignments... 

met up with yochi and her family on sat for buffet lunch at blacktown rsl... both yochi and anthony are looking for new jobs too... pongie and I bought new badminton racquets after the lunch too... so far probably still getting used to using it... and on sunday, after badminton, we went for lunch at this really nice scenic cafe at the olympic park, pretty crowded with families, my fish and chips was ok, the fish was too fishy for me... but everyone else at the table was playing pokemon go except me... so rude... anyway, it was pretty weird, becos Alex came along for lunch, and after that, he also came along to prisy's house to hang out ie watch running man, play wii, and watch movie... with 5 other girls... we were all saying how weird it was... maybe he likes prisy... too bad he is younger than us... who knows... if he is really into prisy, he is a pretty good catch, other than the fact that he is younger and is an only child... watch this space... and prisy said she actually went on a date with a guy probably whom she met on the dating websites, but it didn't work out... 

pongie and I are going to watch star trek in gold class tomorrow night... yay! first time experiencing gold class... hopefully it would be good... and hopefully my cold will resolve soon, so I can enjoy fully... cos can't really breathe properly atm... 

my birthday is coming soon, decided to go play laser tag with prisy and co!!!

StiLL COLd...

work wise, it has been crazy busy with complex patients on the ward this week, of course when Alissa's not here, and I am left only with my student to help, luckily she is pretty cluey, just the spelling mistakes do get to me sometimes... busy with home visit with a hoarder, having to wipe a patient's ass, 2x shower Ax, etc... sooo glad this week is over, hopefully Hannah and I will get along well, otherwise it's going to be a hellish few months... and Rhia told me today that Deb is going for the locum senior community position, sooo, which means that if she does get the position, there will be no one in Aged Care or MRT... and she will be supervising me... awkward... 

anyway, found out that Piyo and Amelia are now pregnant with their second babies!!! who knows, there may be more coming which I don't know about yet!

booked my tickets back home in november... looking forward to just being a sloth really, and eating nonstop... just pretty much not being at work really... papa and mum may be coming out to visit end August...

Alex and I are going ok I guess... don't really know where we are heading at this stage... wish I could talk to somebody and get some advice :( pretty much just meeting up once a week, mostly for dinner... but I just feel like we have run out of things to talk about, whereas back then when we first met, we were talking for hours on end... is that usual for others as well... who knows... and obviously pongie still not happy about us both still going out... we have different hobbies, like different things, and I just feel like he does not have much to talk about in terms of his life... and now that both of us have started uni semester again, our lives will pretty much be work and study really... anyway... watch this space... and I used to get excited and looked forward to seeing him before, but now... not really...

怎么办？？

work wise, changes with staffing levels, Aaron rotated out of aged care, Christian is now the new PT along with Sanobar, Alissa is rotating soon, and Hannah will be rotating in, sometimes I feel Hannah does not like me for some reason, dunno why... so we had so many morning and afternoon teas the last few days, and I ate so much... and Lois had her retirement farewell lunch the other day as well, so basically I have been eating crap nonstop, which meant that I have to work extra hard at badminton, and I am going to make an effort to go to the badminton on saturday... currently supervising a student on placement, she is a canadian born asian, and her accent is so nice... and she is pretty clued in, so I am pretty lucky, but rhia's student is a different story... and kara and kate heagney are pregnant again!!!! and also found out that Gavin's leaving for Westmead for a senior position...

pongie started her new job at North Connex... still working out of the main office, but dreading the day she has to go out on site... 

still driving Hyungie for work, and Scarlett is left sitting nice and clean in the garage... 

Alex and I are going ok, still at stage 1... went for a day trip to the hunter valley today, weather was really good, very crowded, I bought 2 bottles of wine from Scarborough and Audrey Wilkinson, but he bought none, had breakfast at this cafe called Pollina's, the decor was nice, but food was only ok... and then went to takeru for lunch... I was so full after... and I was alittle embarrassed about singing in front of him in the car, but eventually I was like, whatever, so I just sang my usual chinese songs... sometimes I feel that we are more like friends than in a relationship, urgghhh... still have not told anyone else yet except the few mentioned before... 

prisy and christine somehow became really friendly with 2 guys from badminton, Oscar and Alex, don't like Oscar cos he is so loud, but Alex (yeah, I know, the freaking irony here) is pretty nice... but yet to really get to know yet, cos we always seem to be going out in a big group, and who knows whether he is even looking or has someone already... but went for room escape at parramatta called labyrinth with prisy and co plus Oscar, not as high techie and fun as the ones in singapore, but pretty good though...

SCarLett... 红儿。。。

sooo, today I inadvertently made Alissa cry, apparently becos I was being dismissive about doing something with the medical students today, and I did not even realise it until Karen told me about it during supervision... anyway, now I have to go apologise and be mindful about how I go about saying things... work-wise, it has been so boring becos for some really strange reason, our ward has so many empty beds and there is no patients to see, so I am like struggling to find things to do other than working on some QI stuff, readings and doing stats... 

Alex and I are going ok I guess, met up in the city for dinner last weekend, then hung out around darling harbour, it was freezing cold that day though... and we met for dinner near work as well on monday... we are still at stage 1 and I don't know if I will ever be ready to progress onto stage 2... sometimes I feel undecided as to whether I made the right decision to contact him again after we first broke up... and he again told me he thinks he loves me... I dunno... I am so freaking indecisive I annoy even myself... urgghh... 

Good News!!! Pongie got offered a permanent full time job at North Connex jobsite, as a junior accountant... woohooo... hopefully this job will turn out well... and which means I get to buy a new car, which I did, and it's my long-desired mazda 3, in the red... and pongie has named it Scarlett :) it will be ready on monday... woohoo...

WiSE DeciSiON??

sooo, after officially breaking up over the phone on 15th June, we started messaging each other periodically after that, very platonic... and then on the weekend, I decided to register myself on this other online dating website called Plenty of Fish, yeah, the name really does not sound pleasant at all, anyway... for some reason, most guys on the website are of course either weird or label themselves as 'adventurous' and 'outdoor loving'... which is the total opposite of me... and so I did that for 2 days, and the whole time, I find myself thinking of Alex, I am such a hypocrite and pongie is right, I am so indecisive... anyway, and then on sunday it was pouring with rain but we had already planned to meet up with Euodia and her friends for karaoke in the city... we had fun in general, the only downside was the pouring rain, after karaoke, pongie and I decided to check out this new Japanese restaurant at TGV, was disappointed with the food actually, and it was alittle expensive as well... anyway, I decided to call Alex after work on Monday and we had a good chat after 2 weeks... I was sooo nervous about calling, that I actually sat in Hyungie for like 10mins trying to decide if I was actually doing the right thing... and what would happen if he tells me he has already moved on... anyway, turns out he has not, well, that's what he says anyway... and he kept saying things like he has not thought of moving on, that he still looks forward to receiving my messages and he hinted that he would wait... and I think I decided then and there that I am not going to listen to what Buddha is saying and forge forward with having a relationship with Alex this time around... and see where it goes, cos I don't want to have regrets and I kept thinking that we have so much unfinished business... well, for better or worse, I made the decision and if things go bad again, then I have no one to blame but myself... and I deleted my POF profile after 2 days... anyway, I then decided today that I will ask him out... cos I figured why waste time right, if I have already decided to continue... I know people around me will not be happy with my decision but I am going to stick to it... anyway, we decided to meet up in the city on sat, so hopefully this time, it will turn out better than our last disastrous planned hunter valley non event... he even threw away the selfie stick after I cancelled on him cos he thought he no longer had use for it... 

anyway, uni wise, got back my 1st assignment, and surprisingly, I did very well, I was not expecting it at all... I really had no idea what I was doing at that stage, but I am so very glad that all the hard work, sweat and tears worked out well in the end, now crossing my fingers and toes that the second more important assignment also did well...

15th June 2016...

After stressing about it for the last 3 days, our breakup phone call only lasted less than 5 minutes... he hates me... it is all my fault, so no one to blame but myself... and I learnt something from him, don't say sorry, it's like a pat on the head...

27th April- 12th June 2016...

1.5 months and 3 dates later... I broke up with Alex. Real good timing as well, the night before we were meant to go on our first roadtrip together to the hunter valley. Had a good cry last night, and with my period combined, yup, did not really sleep well at all... To be honest, I feel like I have hurt him more by suddenly telling him this becos I knew how excited he was to go on this roadtrip... and to be really honest, the following reasons were why I decided that he was not the one for me even though I really like the feeling of him liking me more...

1. I am indeed racist despite how much I said I was not;

2. I am superficial;

3. Nobody who knew of us in the family approved and mum even showed me the signs she got from praying to say that this was not a good match, and from then on, I started doubting myself and having second thoughts about us;

4. He was getting a little too "clingy" for my liking;

I am such a liar and a scammer, just like what his impression of me was in the beginning... I kept telling him to be honest with me, and in the end, it was me who was not being honest... Fran et al all said this was a good thing and that I don't drag on if I feel he was not right for me. Fran even said not to change my mind cos it won't end well, based on her previous experience.

God, now that the damn semester is over, and I am really worried about passing this module, cos there is NO FREAKING WAY I would want to redo this module again EVER... don't really know what to do with myself... reading my books used to fill me with anticipation but now the mood is just not there anymore... and it's now back to my usual boring routine of work and home and back to work again...

喜欢或者习惯。。。友情或者爱情。。。

sooo, we spent our 1 month anniversary having dinner at grilled at penrith westfield, the food was not great though, and he gave me roses and a card, which was pretty sweet, and we just hugged platonically, he kissed me on the cheek and held hands... so far so good, we decided that we are going to forge ahead and work on this relationship together... so far, I have told, pongie, prisy, huimin, fran and jo, and mum, and mum's reaction was the most surprising, she actually did not even ask much details and just said to go for it... yeah, weird... so really, only mum is on my side at this stage... 

the other stressful thing which happened over the weekend was my assignment, realised at the last minute that I was on the wrong track all along and had to pretty much redo most of the work, stayed up late to work on it on friday, and then all of saturday, and seriously there was a point in time I felt like throwing up... even had to work on it during our hunter valley roadtrip...

really had a good time at hunter valley, the weather was great, had my massage which I really needed... did not visit as many wineries this time becos I had to work on the assignment... had lunch at harrigan's pub which was really crowded... and the accomodation at the pub was pretty ok as well, nothing fancy but quite spacious... 

so now I just have to get through the next 2 weeks with my last assignment for this module and cross my fingers and toes that I will pass the module... that's all I want, just to pass this module so I won't have to do it again... 

oh and I made another new asian friend/colleague called Euodia today, as in we had lunch together, she is from Malaysia but obviously has been here for awhile, but we clicked pretty well, similar interests... wish she could stay at Nepean... which made me think of my ex-friend Elisha, who appears to have disappeared from the earth... 

SOme GUiDanCE wiLL bE HeLpful...

sooo, we finally met up with each other yesterday, first impression, ok, physically, not quite what I expected, he is pretty dark-skinned, and short, like similar height with me... so we met up at hornsby westfield, then he drove hyungie to top ryde, where we had schnitz for lunch, and we talked some more, it was pretty awkward actually, cos I saw him from afar first, and I just gave him a quick small hug, and there were a few times during our little date that I know he was trying to hold my hand, but it was pretty awkward, and he kept rubbing my finger, so I kind of subtly pulled away, and he kissed me on the cheek twice... after lunch, we decided to drive to eastwood and we had oliver brown's waffles for dessert... he was really nice, but I could tell he was nervous as well... cos he sounded way more confident over the phone... 

the problem is I know I have feelings for him, but I dunno whether these feelings mean I truly like him or whether I just feel comfortable talking to him as a friend... and he already told me more than once he is starting to fall in love with me... and everyone around me who knows, kept telling me to slow down, and to make sure of his intentions and his future plans are first... but sometimes, I also feel like we do know each other quite well, and I do trust him at this stage... I can't predict what's going to happen in future, but at this stage, I think I am going to go with my gut instincts and feelings and see where this leads us to...

and on the other hand, pongie was again upset with me yesterday and we had another blowup, in addition to the one on saturday, when papa was apparently upset with both of us for different reasons, hence my initial plan of telling them was postponed... and yesterday it got to the point that I felt so bad towards him that I told him it's not too late to give us up, cos really, I have too much drama in my life right now... since this whole thing started... it's pretty much one drama after another every week... and one of the things which really made me feel like he really likes me and is serious about us is the way he handled the whole situation and is willing to compromise and wait for me... I was pretty shocked when he told me that he was really upset and he had tears in his eyes when he read my message asking him to walk away from this yesterday... hence why, I am trusting these feelings and my gut instinct telling me that he is a trustworthy person and that he genuinely cares for me... despite what other people are telling me... anyway, we decided that 27 April is the day we officially "talked" and knew of one another, so this friday 27 May will be our 1 month anniversary, and we are planning to go have dinner after work... anyway, watch this space...

BE poSiTiVE!

since I last blogged on Friday evening, the conversation that night was truly mortifying on my part, cos it was VERY personal like sensitive questions 101, even to the point of talking about having sex, my menstrual bleeding, my surgery, my scars, and possibility of not having children, everytime I thought of what we talked about that night, I cringe in horror and embarrassment, cos come on, I have yet to even meet him in person, and he knows more intimate things about me that any person should... and we even talked about locations and when to do this... 

anyway, things were pretty intense still... until sat night when pongie overheard us talking about going on an overnight trip and everything blew up... she was crying the whole night, yelling, saying that she hates him, I am not her sister, she wants to go back to singapore etc... it was truly one of the worst nights ever... and of course, needless to say, sunday was pretty tense, which made me tell prisy about him... and of course, she also said the same thing to me, ie to be careful, cos at the end of the day, I have yet to meet him, and I have more to lose than him etc... which I agree, but I really like him and I want to believe and trust what he says... but of course, there will always be a part of me which will remain cautious... anyway, sunday night, pongie and I manage to have a chat about things, and hopefully things will improve as time goes... 

and he is so much better than me at compliments, at saying things such as liking me, thinking of me, missing me, and he even said to me yesterday that he thinks he is slowly falling in love with me... he actually said the big taboo L word, and we have not even met each other... and on my part, I think I am too, becos how can I resist not?? examples, checking my phone almost compulsively, looking forward to chatting with him at night, and texting him, we pretty much text or call each other regularly throughout the day and still chat at night... is that overkill??

I keep waiting for me to wake from this dream, or waiting for the stone to drop, and this situation is not as good as it seems to be... I will be devastated...

HaS FatE rEALLy ArriVED?

sooo... thought I would do a timeline of my online dating journey...

26 April- registered as a member, started talking more in depth with 2 asian guys pretty much daily, some just hi and byes... browsing daily for interesting matches...

10 May- suddenly was talking as per usual with one of them and then at like 2230, he was like, so how about we try chatting on the phone, so I was like sure, when?? expecting like on the weekend or something, not immediately, but that was what happened... I was sooo nervous, my palms were sweating, cold, my heart was pounding like crazy, I was pretty much freaking out alittle bit actually... so we talked for abit, first impression to be honest was ok, his English is not perfect... voice is ok... accent is quite strong but not too bad... and after we hung up, I truly could not sleep the entire night, combination of adrenaline, nerves, replaying the whole conversation over and over... it was crazy... and then we started talking nightly, getting to know each other better, and I thought he was a really nice and genuine person... and he seems to really care about my wellbeing, and texts me throughout the day as well... and asking for more pics... he actually believed that my profile picture was photoshopped, I was alittle upset about that... 

13 May... fast forward till today... still talking nightly, texting each other throughout the day, and he seemed to really like me, but me being me, with my low self esteem and confidence, kept worrying constantly about what will happen once we actually see each other face to face, and he finds out all the stuff about me... what will his reaction be and what happens if this did not work out in the end... oh and did I mention that we both decided to delete our okcupid accounts yesterday... and I also offered to continue as friends with the other asian guy I was talking to, I hope the gamble of giving him my number does not turn around and bite me in the ass... anyway... so have not been sleeping well for the last few nights since we started chatting on the phone... and of course, no mood whatsoever to do my assignment still... yikes... time is really ticking... just wish that I did not start this stupid idea of doing the masters degree in the first place... cos really, to be honest, my priority atm is to work on my social life... but it's a little too late now... so just have to persevere and hopefully get it done and pass the module this semester... 

so, who knows about the above so far... only pongie, huimin, fran and jo... dunno if I should be telling other people at this stage... watch this space I guess :)

缘份。。。

sooo... I finally decided to just register for online dating and see what it is all about and what happens... so far, I learnt the following:

1. there are ALOT of Indians on online dating, and sorry to say, I am pretty racist and anti-Indians;

2. online dating is NOT easy at all;

3. especially if you have to pay to see who actually likes you which of course, no one pays;

4. most of the people on my "Like" list are Asians, hmm... 

5. I suck at small talk :(

anyway, something to think about anyway, and I think it boosted my self-confidence alittle, cos a few people actually thought I was good-looking, but of course, that is based on a picture taken like last year, and I wonder if they will still say the same if they actually seen me in the flesh... 

uni wise... sian... no mood whatsoever to do it... and time is quickly running out every day... it's exactly 4 weeks to the day I have to hand in the first assignment... and the second one looks even worse :(

work wise... did the bariatric presentation with Kiera and I thought it went really well... I was alittle nervous but luckily, it went well in the end...

sydney vs singapore issue... well broke the news to uncle and co the other day, and basically, none of them thought it was a good idea... so now we are pretty much back at square one... pongie has to decide what she wants to do... but it is looking more like I will be stuck at Nepean for a LONG time...

SiAN...

well, today was probably one of the shittier days at work... took a patient out on a HV, and she fell at the front step, even before we went into the house... and she started to panic, could not get her up and in the end, had to ring for an ambulance, which was a first for me... thank goodness, the daughter was pretty sensible and was pretty calm throughout... urgghhh... the paperwork to be done after, and the 'chat' I have to have with Karen and probably Jamila tomorrow as well... yikes, lesson learnt, always check the height of steps and make sure the PT have cleared them on steps at that height... 

other than that, uni stuff is sooo painful, still don't understand what I am reading most of the time... dunno how I am going to get through this module...

still reading my online books, went to watch the Jungle Book at the movies that day... it was not too bad, the computer graphics were very realistic... still playing badminton almost every Sundays, except the Sundays I have to work... nothing very exciting coming up... have this hospital wide bariatric presentation next week, already thinking of where to go next for our next roadtrip before pongie goes back... if not becos of the STEP funding thing, I was already thinking of resigning in June... but at this stage, it's looking more like August... oh and Jo gave birth to a baby boy the other day... 

weather wise... seriously, it's already almost May and it's still feeling like summer... winter had better be longer this year...