EASter Egg HUNt is On THis YEar...

flyscreens front... got two quotes over the weekend, still hesitant if we should do it, just cos I am thinking abt the mess and the cleanup we have to do after... 

work wise... informed Dawn I have started applying for jobs, but seriously jobs are not many and it's looking even more like I am going back to rehab in Oct... which hopefully is not the case...

I am still sucking at lymphoedema, wish I could not do it, don't think it's my cup of tea after all... spoke to ren about the differences in measuring issue, and he was really good about it, and appeared to want to help, but there's not much to be done, as I simply want to keep status quo, and not rock the boat too much, cos it has taken me a long time to get to where I am now at cancercare...and actually grateful to ren that he swapped easter sunday shift with me, which means that I get paid double time and a half... yay...

otherwise, nainai and auntie went back to singapore on sat, not too upset this time, cos I am hopeful that if everything goes alright, she will be returning in summer again... wish I could go back, but can't think of a good time for pongie and I... 

sat was such a mentally and physically tiring day, have not been so exhausted for a long time... woke up at 0500 to send nainai off at the airport, came home, had breakfast and started getting ready for the church wedding... was late cos parking was absolutely horrendous, and had to walk a long distance in heels, which needless to say, made the start of the day already worse... and it was quote hot and stifling in the church, and alot of singing, and praying, really felt like nodding off throughout... Karen looked nice in the wedding gown, liked the bottom part of the gown, the top part not really... theme was white and purple, and pretty much mostly asians/HK... after church, there was some finger food on the lawns, came back home soon after... the day was sooo hot... had a quick nap which really helped otherwise don't think I can cope with the dinner in the evening... soon, it was time to head into the city for the dinner, and this time we were actually early, sat around, and dinner did not start until approx 1900... and all the guests were pretty much from her church, and family, I think... dinner was dragged out cos there were talking and playing games after every meal... personally, I did not enjoy dinner at all, but it had to be very expensive, there were lobster and abalone... dinner ended at approx 2200, and we still were the first few ones to leave then, by the time we arrived home, both of us were exhausted mentally and physically, and the bottom of my right foot was starting to get a blister... sooo glad that the next day was a sunday, and we went to do our weekly grocery shop and cleaning...

yesterday, there was a big family gathering at our place back home, got to meet new members of the family via skype, brian's and pearlyn's partners, seriously, everyone seems to be meeting their prospective partners in church, curious to know what actually goes on during church...

3 more days until easter long weekend, and 3 more weeks until NZ... wish time would pass quickly now...

MArch iNG ALonG...

went to the Smith and Nephew measuring course yesterday, and it was helpful, felt more confident with measuring, and also met some of the coursemates there as well, as well as Andrea from Mt Wilga, it was actually good to see them again, cos we all had the same 'trauma' of going through the course... and reminiscing... 

thursday, the last day before you know who leaves, went to the farewell lunch and there was so much food there, I was like, I can't believe I was fretting about baking and buying a nice cake and everything, cos it would just go to waste in the end... the last day actually turned out to be quite uneventful, after all that... but what's new... 

still have not mentioned the fact that I am looking for jobs to dawn, but will have to next week, and Kate told us that day, that there is no funding for MRT in June, which means if I am still at Nepean in Oct, I won't be going back to MRT, and nobody knows what is going to happen then, what will happen to Kara, Frances, Kate, and they are not replacing the PT position... it's abit worrying... and Karen has left for a 6 months leave... 

started to actively organise for flyscreens to be installed again, but not many companies are interested it seems... but we'll see what we get quoted...

因祸得福。。。

just thought I would post again...

on the warts front, yes!!!! after nearly 4 months of battle with the stupid virus infection, and severe pain in my foot, I can say that both warts seemed to be healing, so I am just being very careful now to make sure that this never happens again, even if it means never using a public swimming pool, or an indoor one like downstairs again... 

yesterday was a drama at work really... think it was becos I ate all of the brownies, when I came home from work on sunday, and had 3 epsiodes of diarrhoea overnight, then took some Norit, and it seemed to have improved so I went to work as usual on monday... got to work, just having my usual small talk with dawn and glyndon about our weekends, and opened my big mouth about me having diarrhoea, and the next thing I know, I was being sent home, cos apparently you need to have 24 hour symptom free before you can go to work... so in the end, I drove all the way to work and an hour later, drove all the way home again... annoying... anyway, decided to spend some time with nainai, so we went to eastwood and macquarie for lunch, and today decided to have another sick day off today... :)

and job application wise, submitted my application for the TACP position yesterday... just hoping that work will be supportive, and I am successful for the position...

finally paid for our NZ trip on the weekend, counting down the days before we go on our trip!

DamN puBLic PooLs...

seemed to have neglected to blog my warts issue... started out as a blister I think on my left foot, and for some reason, it worsened and eventually became a wart!!! it became so painful that it hurts with every step I took, and this was approx 3 months ago... so in the end, went to the GP, who could not really help me, and no choice but to go see a podiatry, and becos I am not covered under my private health insurance, I have to pay it straight out of my pocket... that's when they informed me that the first one was a wart but they were unsure whether the second one was a wart or something else, cos there was a hole in the second one... the podiatrist told me that the most likely place which I could have gotten the wart was from the swimming pool, which made me realise that it was probably due to me refusing to wear slippers into the swimming pool area, and walking around barefoot... so 3 months later, 3 visits to the podiatrist later, cryotherapy later, and daily soaking, application of medication later, the second one has healed, but the first one is still black... but at least since my treatment has completed, the pain has resolved... so the bottom line for me from this lesson learnt is... never ever use the swimming pool again!!!

and my cluedo game finally arrived, yay!

so, work wise, had a meeting with kate and deb that day, and they were talking about dropping out of the rotation program and each of them considering staying in an area they preferred, kate chose cancercare, no surprise there, and deb seemed to lean towards aged care/rehab... and I voiced my hesitation about feeling bad if I were to leave now, but they pretty much said don't worry about it, nobody will care or be upset... and just that same night, looked on the jobs website, and saw an ad for a TACP position at westmead... so I am in the process of applying for it, and now the issue is letting people at work know and getting my referees, which is always awkward for some reason... really hope that people at work would be supportive, and I will get the position, fingers and toes crossed...

再也不要见。。。

today realised and found out that I am indeed surrounded by a few gays and lesbians at work... and a shocking discovery about you know who... crap, urggghhh... wasted all this time worrying about nothing in the end... and obsessing...and the countdown starts... time to put all these behind me and move on...

first day back at work after the course, and of course, the first question to me was how was the course?? no choice but to talk about the mental and physical stress, and become embarrassed in the process... oh well... at least there were few people who went through the same thing and could sympathise... now the next challenge is to actually see some real clients in the clinic starting april...

7 Days of LymPHoeDeMA BOoTCAmp...

finally survived lymphoedema bootcamp! it has been a very tough week, and alot of sweat and late nights, and even though I passed, cos they have to pass us, dunno if I actually am competent in both theory and practical, and even the tutor said she was worried that I may not pass... I have to say the things that really helped were having really patient tutors, and I have been very lucky in that my partners every session have been very helpful and I have learnt alot from them... I still would not say that I am confident seeing patients on my own immediately... and one of the shitty things was that my period had to come on sunday, which meant that I have to inform the tutors and my partners, which was pretty embarrassing even though all of us were females... 

anyway, despite having a really tough week (ie full on days, homework and practice at night, late nights studying, having to strip off pretty much every day, alot of sweat involved during bandaging), I am glad that I did the course, cos I did learn new things from it, and increased my skills and knowledge and got me thinking about possibly working in burns if the opportunity arises in future... although noted that there are only 2 hospitals in nsw that have burns unit, concord and royal north shore... 

and I am soo glad that I have the day off tomorrow, cos I don't think I have the energy to return to work immediately... and made a new friend from the course as well...

FReAkiNG oUT HEre...

Lymphoedema course has finally come round, after months of anticipation and dread...

day 1- was walking to the rsl and was waiting at the traffic lights when I turned round and saw someone I knew from uni... it was really weird, could not recall his name, apparently he is working casual at Mt Wilga private hospital now... first day and I already had to strip off my pants and lie down... and my partner happened to be a girl who works with a colleague who I used to work with and who is dawn's good friend... small world, anyway, she was my partner and I was surprised when it was measuring limb time, and everyone started stripping off their pants just like that... it appeared to be that I am the only one who is embarrassed about this whole situation... the course is full-on... felt like they are cramming alot of stuff into the day and even break times are reduced...

day 2- even better, the day when it was time to strip off down to your panty, and even then, you have to massage near the genital area... my partner today happened to be a PT and an older lady, which probably helped I think... I was trying my hardest NOT to freak out and not to laugh during the massage due to it being ticklish at some parts... another full on day, have a headache by the time they went through the massage techniques... and we still have homework to do at night... signed up for the free measuring course which I am really glad to go to bcos they pretty much rushed through the whole measuring section today... and I am also attending a short workshop on use of low level laser but on a sunday... at least work is also paying for it... gosh I keep thinking what the hell have I gotten myself into???!!!! maybe I do need to go see a psych after this :(

CLouDy & rAiNinG...

恭喜发财！！！！

missed out on another year of chinese new year and hongbaos... the good thing is nainai is here this year, and that we got to skype with the relatives as well on the weekend and had a sumptious dinner on sat...

work wise...maybe my prayers are starting to come true, bcos her attitude seems to be improving towards me, and she is also starting to defend me, but I just can't seem to drop my guard though, especially when I think about the past few months... anyway, when I was looking through the predictions for this year, apparently, this is only an ok year for me, and the main thing is to stay positive... one more week until the dreaded lymphoedema course, I just hope that things will turn out ok... 

nothing very much going on atm, still looking forward to april when we finally go on a holiday, feels like such a long time since my last holiday, which was last april... still considering whether I should go back home this year...

无底洞。。。

australia day long weekend... nainai came up for the weekend, and it was pretty much raining the whole weekend... started working on sundays now, once a month, it's actually not too bad, the ward is quiet, and I can pretty much go about doing my work without people in the way, or files not found... and once/month is just nice, although I found out that I get taxed a lot more...

sat... went grocery shopping at eastwood and at hornsby... nothing very exciting...

sun... working

mon... went out for breakfast, and nainai and I went to watch the Hobbit, it was pretty boring, almost fell asleep a few times during the movie, when we came out of the theatre, it was packed with kids, and everywhere was full of people, cos it was pouring rain outside... and it pretty much rained throughout the night as well... rewatched it started with a kiss 1 and 2... and managed to finish the 3 kingdoms, it was boring... yep that was how bored I was, no new nice shows atm, except running man once a week...

tues... went out for lunch, dropped pongie off at uni, then took nainai to epping library, and it started to rain again... then went to castle towers to eat baskin and robbins...

work has been alright, still dreading every day I have to work with her... and the shitty thing is, bcos of this course, I cannot quit now, and there are no jobs available, and there are alot of people around me also looking for jobs atm, my situation is gettting more depressing each day... at this rate, come Oct, I might find myself rotating back into MRT...  urgghh... 

and... amelia, karen, jo uni, mellishia, and siti are all getting married, and yochi's giving birth anytime soon... whilst here I am, getting old every day, and stuck in that place with that person... and you know who is leaving in March... all these time spent on Thursdays did nothing at all...

NEw BeGinniNgs HopEFully...

29 Dec 2012- spent the day in the city, usual routine, Lindt, karaoke, found a few new korean and jap places that look quite nice, but we were too full and my tummy was not feeling well due to the spoilt milk I drank in the morning...

30 Dec 2012- spent the day cleaning, watch some old shows, then went to auntie's place for dinner, and nainai came up to stay for the next few days...

31 Dec 2012- new year's eve, took nainai for lunch at ribs and rumps at olympic park, the place was actually quite big, and there was not many people, probably bcos it was the hols and lunch... and then went grocery shopping after... stayed up to watch the fireworks, but it was pretty much the same every year, boring...

1 Jan 2013- stayed at home the whole day until time to go to dinner's at auntie's place for pizza... was watching all the korean drama awards actually... not that I understood what was said, cos nobody subs the shows... 

2 Jan 2012- back to work :( today was asked by El was I missing Dawn, wanted to lie but it was not easy, in the end just hesitated and said no comment... will have to see if this is going to come back and bite me... really dreading next week, when she returns...

looking forward to the days when she is not there, and most importantly my NZ trip and the day when I can get out of this hellhole... and have made my new year resolutions, although the ones from last year were not achieved, sometimes I wonder why I even bother...

MErry XmAS...

recap of Xmas break...

21 Dec 2012- last day of work before a 5 day break, good thing was it was not very busy, and I got to leave work early, the downside was having to face her becos she decided to come into work, though God knows why cos she did not do any productive thing at all other than dictating what I should be doing to get rid of all the patients on my list...

22 Dec 2012- roadtrip, 1st stop was Saddleback Mountain lookout, luckily the weather cleared up when we arrived, cos it was drizzling on the way there, then we went to Berry, had lunch there, and the sun came out, and along came the flies, which meant that the lunch was not very pleasant, and the town was pretty crowded, which also meant that the toilets were disgusting... then we went onto Kangaroo Valley, which was really boring, cos most of the shops were closed... so it was pretty much in and out... then we decided to stop by Fitzroy falls... which was really disappointing, cos there was not much water, which Uncle did warn me before... then we decided to make our way back and decided to have dinner at Chatswood at Takeru... for some unknown reason and probably not thinking properly, I decided to order this ramen that has 2 chilli symbols, and it turned out to be really spicy, and it did not help that it was hot outside and inside the restaurant cos their air conditioning was broken, so in the end, I was eating and sweating at the same time, nice! my mouth was numb after... 

23 Dec 2012- went to cut my hair at Eastwood, and to my surprise, it was really quiet on the korean side, and wanted to check out the new korean restaurant, and it turned out to be BBQ, but it was closed anyway... 

24 Dec 2012- went to send Hyungie in for service, then took a train to Chatswood hoping that this time we could finally get pongie's licence done, but due to their pain in the ass rules, her name on the bank statement needs to match the name on her passport which it didn't and so RTA refused to issue her licence, I was really pissed, and it did not help that it was boiling hot that day, and crowded... so we went to the bank to change the order of her name and went to eat at Oliver Brown to cool myself down... came back to pick the car up and went to do some grocery shopping in the evening, did not have stuff on special though... 

Xmas day... cloudy and raining pretty much all day, which we were prepared for, so it was movie marathon day at auntie's... started with running man, then brave, resident evil, and bourne legacy... 

Boxing day... did not do very much studying the whole weekend, so did some in the morning, then it was time to make our way to the gathering at Magu's place, as usual, have to make small talk, eat and use the excuse of nainai to leave early, and ended up playing mahjong at auntie's place anyway...

27 Dec 2012- back to work, and everyone kept telling me how quiet it usually is on the 2 days but it turned out to be fairly busy... thought I would get some time to study, but nope, though I did leave early on both days... then had to go for dinner at Steve Adkinson's place, was not planning to go initially, but uncle said he wanted us to go, so again have to make small talk, eat food I don't like, except for the starters and dessert...

太累了。。。

another day of drama on wed... she became upset when the pall care team and her were disagreeing about hospital beds for a patient, and at one point I really thought she was going to cry or something, and then she decided she had to take a day off today otherwise she would not be able to continue, and she kept saying she can no longer stay in this position, and wants to go back to the main dept... and people could tell she was stressed, cos Willie came up to me and asked if she was stressed and was she taking a day off as stress leave, but Willie was really nice as she was asking whether I was ok... and Deanne gave me a pat on the shoulder and said I was doing well... which was really nice of her, although I know that Deanne and her are at odds... so in the end, she took today off, missed the dept xmas lunch and kris kringle... and possibly tomorrow as well... was seriously considering taking a sick day off tomorrow, but had to go to work in the end bcos of a pt, and the fact that there was no allied health tomorrow at all if I don't turn up as well... 

speaking of secret santa, got a decorative candle thing from cancercare and a handbag from the dept... which are both going into the regift box... 

one more day to go, I am so tired, this week has been a killer really... both physically and emotionally... and also found out that the person is leaving in march to london to work for a year...

HOW LonG moRe CAn I dO thiS?

had another shitty day at work again, was asked to do a learning styles questionnaire, and I did not score one point in the activist column, needless to say, she and I are going to be in for a really FUN time next year... my main problems continues to be not showing empathy, and not engaging with people at work, building rapport by making small talk, and the b**** made me say out loud that I suck at making small talk... and she even suggested that I speak to Kate about the fact that she got along so well with people at cancercare... and today, she quarreled with Jacqui right in the office, where everyone can hear, and it was pretty awkward throughout the day, but by the end of the day, they were back to speaking terms again... just like that other day, when she threw a tantrum and walked out of the meeting...seriously, how can you possibly expect people to respect you when you act like this??!! and I mentioned to her that I use a different OT model, and she was like, well, you need to tell me these things, and what happens when you start in a new job and I am the boss and I realise that you are doing something different from other people, and of course, any answer I gave was wrong, cos everyone has to do things her way... I hate her, truly do, and she even implied that if I don't like working in this area, there is no point doing the lymphoedema course, WTF, I have to keep telling myself to tolerate these shit until I become at least competent in lymphoedema, and then AU REVOIR! thanks but no thanks... you are the worst bully I have ever come across!

anyway, bcos of all these stress, I have now got this massive pimple between my nose and mouth, and it's huge, and painful the whole of today, and I had to walk around with that at work, and people that I did not want to see, of course, I see them... tried to squeeze it earlier, although we were told not to... it came out in a squirt at the mirror, it was way gross and now it's all red and painful, and still it's not clean...

10 DAys to XmAS...

realised that since this month started, all my posts are about the annoying person... she continues to irritate me nevertheless, however, I am NOT going to write another post about her... 1 more week before the xmas break, everybody seems to be already in the xmas spirit already and people seem to be more relaxed, personally, I am looking forward to this break, not bcos we are doing anything exciting during xmas, but becos of the days that I don't have to face her... work has been very quiet, I actually had no patients one day, and like 1 patient at the end of the week, so I actually had time to do my study... have finally decided to work on sundays, will have to see how it goes next year, cos I dunno if it is worth me travelling that far to work for 6 hours...

went to barefoot bowls this afternoon at parramatta rsl, quite a decent turnout, it was alright, I really just wanted to play it and see what the hype is all about, but don't think it's a game you could be playing for long hours on end... our team lost though... did not go for dinner though, not up to socialising, and heard that the food is not great either, and when I left, it was already starting to rain... 

other than that, nothing really exciting at the stage, no new dramas, so watching some old ones, and running man is ongoing...

16 days To XmaS...

almost a month since I last posted, and nothing has much improved from being irritated and frustrated and not being able to tell anyone else at work... everything I do seems to be the wrong thing, and now she is saying that I am doing things which she said not to do, even though when we talked about it, she said it was ok to do it that way... no wonder Kate made a comment previously about not knowing when to take her seriously or not when she says things... and she kept saying things like clinical reasoning, and that she has been doing things for a long time now and I have only been there for 2 months, and during the assessments, when she was meant to be observing me, she decides to step in and after asking a few questions, she just throws equipment at people, despite telling me that we cannot solve everything with just equipment... and when I started asking about continence, she was like why are you asking about that?? dunno how much more I can tolerate this shit, it's really difficult to respect and acknowledge something or someone when you don't agree with them or their methods... it's like so what if you have been doing this for a long time, it does not mean that you are doing things right...at this point in time, my strategy is to tolerate things until after I am competent in lymphoedema, and then I am off, thanks but no thanks... it was just really ironic that we also had our workplace culture training that day and talking about bullying... putting on a fake smile and pretending that I am actually enjoying my work is so tiring...

other than work being irritating, nothing much really happening, no new dramas at this stage, should be studying my lymphoedema stuff but have been putting it off... looking forward to this xmas break and really any other time that I don't have to face her...

忍气吞声...

I am going to use this post to rant... 

day before, Dawn happened to see the handover templates that I have been using since I started MRT, and made a big fuss over why I am keeping confidential stuff, should not be taking pts' confidential info around in my folder or leaving it around, which seriously, everyone in the office does that, like everyone has pts' files on their tables anyway, which is annoyingly ridiculous, and me having to justify why I am doing it, and the fact that she does not have to abide by the dept's policy around the clinical handover and having to do audits every month, means that I can't be writing down pts' confidential info and carrying it around and keeping it... it sounded so ridiculous and inefficient, bcos she actually suggested that if I were to need some pt's info on the file, I should just refer back to the file, which obviously she has not done alot of handovers before, bcos the pts and their files move with them, so unless you are willing to go tracking them down to find their files, which again sounded so stupid, just the fact that she actually said that and the fact that I had to justify the use of the templates made me so mad that day... I seriously thought of leaving the place that day... and had to keep reminding myself to think of the big picture and my own future... and at least stay there till I am confident in my lymphoedema skills first before leaving... 

and then today, she had to present on our roles in cancercare to a group of community OTs, and she made a comment which really annoyed me again... she was talking about mindfulness, and how I did not take the sultana during Kate and her presentation a while ago, and by some miracle, and those were her words, I actually managed to sneak into cancercare... which further cemented the fact that she was the one who strongly opposed me going to cancercare in the first place and went to say this to the manager, whom of course, in turn mentioned it to Karen, which on hindsight, I probably should not have mentioned this back to Dawn during supervision that day... and it is so obvious that she strongly wants Kate there, not me and that she has previously said to me that she worked better with Kate... 

all I can say and do is patience and breathe Andrea think of the big picture and your career... just endure until mid next year hopefully, when I finished the lymphoedema training and had some experience actually treating pts with lymphoedema then it's anneong!!!! unfortunately until that happens, I will just have to 忍气吞声... and with her, the other issue is that you never know whether she is kidding or being serious, which Kate did mention before... and from the way Kate was talking about her and cancercare previously, it really did sound like she had a difficult time with Dawn too, but obviously not, cos the 2 of them appeared to be pretty close, from what I can see... 

the other relatively good news is that I finally received my registration, with no conditions YAY! big sigh of relief... and I don't have to pay the additional renewal fee... thank goodness this one stress is over, after 8 months...

I have also booked our flights to NZ in April 2013, and we will be joining a tour for 9 days both north and south islands... only pong and I are going this time... looking forward to this, dunno if I will have the opportunity to go back home next year, if I am going to start looking  for a new job...

URggHhh... HOT...

coming up to a month after rotating into cancercare, things are still going ok, I guess, still trying to get used to having someone monitoring me closely and having to work so closely with another OT, still trying to get used to the wards and the people, and now that the end of the year is coming up, there's all these Xmas parties and gatherings happening, which to be honest I am not that keen on going... 

been catching up on my dramas, finished watching I need romance 1 and 2, did not think they were as good as the reviews said they were, pretty much forwarding through most parts, moved onto Reply 1997, slightly better, the leads are quite funny, and then watched Iljimae returns, omg, what a waste of time... it was super boring, and I did not even get what the plot was trying to do, and the lead character really did not appeal to me... next up was arang and the magistrate, some parts were not bad, but overall did not think it was as good as gumiho... just finished watching Faith, another show which I had quite high hopes of but ended up being melodramatic and slow... and the fact that the lead female character is so much older than Lee Minho... and I did not really get the story... which brings me to an end of my shows, not that I have finished all of my shows and no new shows at this stage... so probably will be rewatching some shows in the meantime... 

still waiting to get my flyscreens fixed, still nil response from them yet... so irritating... which goes to show that even if you are a paying customer, having money is not everything...

received my new phone today, a Samsung Galaxy Ace, yes a touchphone... features wise, of course it's better than my old phone, but still prefer to use my sony ericsson, but it's now a fact that I can only speak and hear through the speakers, can no longer hold it to my ear to listen and speak...

thinking of going to new zealand next April for a holiday, did some research today and realised that it's definitely not cheap at all, and we are only going for 12 days... but April seems to be the only time we are all available to go on a trip, and if I were to start looking for a job mid next year, I may not be able to have a holiday for a while... My plans for Europe 2013 is getting further and further away from me...

Wet ANd CoLd...

today is the first Thursday when Kate and I had to swap, was feeling worried already the night before, not knowing what to do, and have already forgotten some of the stuff I used to do in MRT, and working with the PT...

so this am, Kate was late, we were doing handover for almost an hour, which of course, did not sit well with Dawn, and then got a p/c from Ren saying Kara is on sick leave, and asking why I have yet to turn up... which also meant that I will be working with the PT mainly, which was definitely one of the things I was worried about... so after handover, headed over to the office, everything felt the same but also different at the same time, went to see this pt first, to do some UL stuff and apply the FES, had to revise my notes on FES and speak to people, cos I really forgot how to do these after not having done this for so long... and then of course, decided to page the PT to see where he was up to, met up with him, and began the first time we worked together, I personally felt really awkward, don't really know what to say, I really do suck at making small talk... anyway, the day went on, and I pretty much did not know what I was doing most of the day... I was pretty much either doing UL stuff or helping out the PT... after having done one day of MRT, and being physically exhausted, I was reminded of why I don't think I could do this again, the pts are heavy and I have gone for so long without having to do all these heavy transfers... and also, forgetting where wards are, and how things work, all contributed to me feeling really out of place today, and just the feeling of not knowing what to do, which sucked... the PT must be thinking 'what is she doing?!!!'

I really don't think this swap on Thursdays work well, but it's really not up to me at this stage, and it's not easy for Kate either... well I am off the hook for the next 2 weeks whilst Kate is away, so we'll see what happens... over at cancer care, still trying to get used to the different environment, people and how things work there, which is quite different from how it is back in the office... Dawn is quite supportive, but I sometimes do get the feeling of being a new grad or a student all over again, which is ok with me atm cos I am still learning every day... dunno about the lymphoedema part though, Dawn was telling me how we don't really get to wear gloves during bandaging and measuring for garments, and there may be pts coming in with really bad lymphoedema that it oozes out, and there's a smell and having to touch pt's private areas sometimes as well... my first thought was OMG what have I gotten myself into??!!!

再见年老部门， 欢迎癌症部门。。。

after one year and a bit in aged care, I am ready to move on, my last week did not go as well as I would have liked, received some pretty 'scorching' feedback from Collette just like last week, and on hindsight again, I did not think I did the wrong thing... anyway, just want to put the bad stuff away and move on... I was abit sad that I am leaving a pretty good multidisciplinary team in aged care, and I hate to say this but I think the daily MAU meetings have grown on me, it's now more like a social gathering at times... I am going to miss it... had my farewell lunch in 1F on Thurs, brought ice cream, and on Fri, it was my combined farewell lunch on MAU, was initially planning to buy the creme brulee cake at Pattisons, and for some reason, I thought the large cake was about $30, but it turned out to be a whopping $42, heart pain... now I have to buy another something for my first day in cancer care... I am really hoping that this last rotation turns out ok... felt pretty foreign when I had to pack my stuff and leave the office, on the good side, it is that I get to have my own computer and windows, and the table is much bigger, but the other hand, I have been in that office for the last 2 years, but it was good to know that I will be missed by some... even though I am still in the hospital but not physically in the office...

we have survived the first week at our new place, have yet to be doing alot of cooking, the first real cooking we did was rice, chicken and veges... other than that, the next few days were noodles, toast, and going to Auntie's place to eat laksa yesterday... our lounge set is finally arriving today, I am looking forward to it though, although the dining table chairs are pretty comfy, but it is not really ideal for sitting back and relaxing... the only thing remaining to do really is get rid of the awful odour coming from the laundry drains, and the door locks... solved the trapping of hair issue yesterday... realised that our sink and draining area is far too small for our needs if we are to be doing any serious cooking, which we did that day, so pretty much we were washing and drying at the same time...

thought I would be able to catch up on my dramas now that we moved out in the evenings, but that has yet to happen, by the time I arrived home, it was already like 1830, and by the time we cook and eat and clean, 1930, and shower 0800, and I am already pretty tired by then, managed to rewatch the avengers again, pity we could not burn it to keep, watched some running man, that was it...

Ah Neong...

we have finally moved in! 30 Sept is the day, could not sleep the first night, dunno whether if it's becos of the pillow or different bed... slowly getting used to it... nainai slept over, and we went for breakfast at the usual place, followed by another massive grocery shop again (never want to repeat the experience at Eastwood on a Sat am again for grocery shopping)... and then back to the unit and then to auntie's place for steamboat... woke up this am with a shock, cos the sky seemed to be bright already, my first thought was oh shit I am so late for work, quickly came out to check the time, and it was only 5:45am... left the house at 0630 and got to work at 0740... I can see my kms slowly increasing every day... worked out that the distance from home to work is now 54km... tonight is the first night that we are cooking, realised that the sink is too small for our needs, so we actually have to wash and dry stuff as we go... stuck the clingwrap wrongly, don't have anywhere to hang our clothing to dry indoors, cos I am worried that there may be bird shit on our clothes, so tried to use the dryer, but it was totally useless... so in the end, no choice, we hung the clothes outside hopefully the birds will keep their shit to themselves and no weird things dropping on the clothes...